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On It's Hard to Feel Empowered With a Secret Trust Fund
HOW IS THE BALANCE A SECRET WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT THE FRACTIONATION SCHEME IS. 45K x 3 - [whatever you already got], no?
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On Which British Class Are You?
@MilesofMountains I think to be in the Technical Middle Class you can't have befriended any lorry drivers.
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On WWYD: $70 in the Subway
MTA retrieval spectrum: Success: I left a poster (scientific presentation kind, not kitten-on-a-branch kind) on a Metro North train. Two months later (2 months after the conference, servicey!) I got a call saying "Mary Cooter (serious bastardization of my name) we have your blueprints." Failure: A blazer with like $20 in the pocket, dropped in Penn Station, was never recovered but the Lost & Found people were mildly sympathetic. Insult to Injury: Lost a hat in a subway station, asked station attendant a few hours later, just in case, (it was a nice vintage fur hat!) and she just laughed in my face.
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On Now I Get It: Academic Publishing Is an Extortion Racket
@jfruh It's an interesting conundrum! I'm a postdoc in the biomedical sciences and I can't overstate how many times I've heard variations of the following conversation: Q: How do you feel about open access journals? A: Oh I feel like making literature widely available is incredibly important! Elsevier is the worst! I am committed to making research accessible to interested taxpayers as well as to those supported by institutions! Q: Would you submit your next paper to one of the current OA publications? A: Hahahahahahaha. MOLECULAR CELL OR GTFO MAMA NEEDS A JOB.
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On Sorry About This Year's Bonus
@deepomega I think it's kind of like when you take the leftover bagels from the conference room. "I'm sorry, honey, I only got five bagels this year." Tips: Prepare your spouse beforehand (e.g., start dropping hints like "You don't really like breakfast, do you?"). Seeing actual, physical bagels always makes it look like a greater quantity than the abstract number ("5" vs "O O O O O").
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On Sorry About This Year's Bonus
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On What We Actually Need Is a Sorting Hat
Similarly, I gave up piano because my pinkies are about half an inch shorter than normal pinkies & so even if my thumb & pinky are basically 180* opposed I can't reach the octave-and-a-third chord. Which, in retrospect? Thank you hamster pinkies, for sparing me the delusion that I might want to try & be a concert pianist loloololaskdlkja.
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On Okay, But What Do You Actually Do?
Scientist: Write grants write grants edit grants. Write like this ATGATTCTCAGATATTCCCATATAA. Repeatedly mix variable amounts of liquid with other kinds of liquid. Use terrifyingly expensive machines on them. Microsoft Excel. Cry. Repeat.
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On The Deli Person's Mistake
A couple of weeks ago a cashier tried to charge me $10 for an artichoke. Like, one single artichoke, but I was apologetic about it in a horrible Oliver Twist-orphany sort of way. "Begging your pardon, ma'am, but that just seems rather a bit high? For one artichoke? Ten shillings? Terribly sorry!" And the manager gets involved and the line is getting longer and longer and this is a gentrifying neighborhood so I feel super awkward as "White Girl in Ridiculous Faux-leopard Coat Taking 10 Minutes to Buy Quinoa, Fancy Tonic & an Artichoke" and I sort of wished I had just paid $10 for an artichoke? Which is dumb. $8.50 is not a small sum! But I don't know what I would do if it happened again.
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On It's Hard to Feel Empowered With a Secret Trust Fund
@OllyOlly Ah okay clearly I do not have any fancy money because I forgot about being able to get anything other than like a .0001% interest rate.