@clo Yeah, this is why I'll never work at someplace really prestigious and life-absorbing. I want to find my work meaningful and get along with my coworkers, and maybe I'll even become real lasting friends with some of them, but at the end of the day I am providing a service in exchange for compensation and I want to go home and enjoy the fruits of that labor with my actual loved ones.
@cuminafterall That's definitely an interesting point. And I would also wonder, with our generation, about the geographic distribution of people who are going to college after having served on GI Bill benefits. I went to school in the DC area and I think we got a disproportionate number of people who went into ROTC anticipating defense careers or came back from service to go to school and use their clearance to get a contracting job in the area, at least compared to other schools/places in the northeast corridor. Or maybe my social circles are weird!
@kentuckygal My husband and I have shared finances, but we didn't merge them until we got married and we lived together for a few years prior to that, so I've tried it both ways. I really, really like having shared accounts, but it was always understood to be an only after we'd decided to be married thing, and after fairly detailed conversations about how money should work. We have a main joint checking and savings account through our credit union for almost all of our expenses, and then we each have individual accounts. We pay ourselves a small allowance twice a month for fun solo things that we don't want to have to justify within the household budget. We generally confer prior to any large transactions (I would say over $100), even if it's something we've already budgeted for, just so there are no surprises. Because the allowance is pretty small, this year we decided on a Christmas budget and took that out so we could be mysterious and surprising about presents. I realize it's all ours and we basically are going halfsies on our own presents, but we both really enjoy the act of picking out things and surprising/being surprised, so it works for us. To my mind, it's not unlike the family Secret Santa - we could just all write each other checks, but we enjoy finding something we think the person will like and presenting it to them with a bow.
@Allison Given the horror stories I have heard and seen (some committed by HR managers! seriously!) relating to pregnancy, I am neither surprised that this happened nor that he managed to stay in his job. People get away with some appalling stuff.
@The Lady of Shalott Yeah, I was definitely trapped in the one-lowmanship mindset until about halfway through the planning, when we realized we had enough wiggle room in our budget to pay some problems to go away. Our wedding was not DIY or freegan or handcrafted or even particularly reflective of our deepest inner selves or whatnot, but we fed and watered our relatives and nobody died and we were married at the end, so money well spent in my mind. It was one (albeit large) dinner party.
@cuminafterall (We had a “not worth the hassle”-themed wedding.) I think you and I had similar approaches to getting married. I only managed to bring myself to try on one dress; I ordered it from David's Bridal's website on sale and it was fine when I got it, so that was that!
@E$ If it's any consolation, they used to be $90, I believe. I remember poring over the catalogs and formulating Christmas/birthday requests (I was a spoiled only child). Man, totally not the point, but this post is really making me want to call up some of my female friends so we can dig our old Samanthas and Felicitys out of storage and go to the (also overpriced) doll tea at the American Girl Store like a gaggle of creepy old ladies.
@gyip But I can guarantee they will get a whole STRING of people willing to kill themselves trying. I parted ways with the PA/PAX fandom machine awhile back, but oh man are there a lot of people who would be willing to give up everything to fix Robert Khoo's computer on the regular.
@wrappedupinbooks Word. We need an "ex-Catholics with confusing feelings of respect for the current Pope" support group.