in the industry most of the time 'convention' refers to any all-encompassing event with a trade show and seminars (the 'conference' part). people on the show floor are focused on business - new products, services, networking - just like at the panels and sessions. consumer-focused shows (involving themed costumes) are only a subset of that, but they get a lot more general media attention. (and yeah, i work in that industry ("face to face marketplaces!"), so i'm a big fan of them. totally valuable for your career, as long as you go to ones that deliver real value)
i know that my manager has been criticized for this, in otherwise stellar performance reviews. it's total BS. but what's striking is that i feel like i'm much the same way, but she cultivates it in me anyway even though she herself gets dinged.
@SnarlFurillo i have heard plenty of guys be chastised for not having their clothes ironed, or not wearing a tie, inappropriate shoes, etc. i think that the thing is that there's more ambiguity for women. men have a few set levels of outfit, and there's really not much variation. women have a range of looks with subtle differences within each based on fabric, length and cut. i find that they key is generally 'don't look sloppy'. you can get away with a lot as long as you look like you put in some effort.
@TheDoctorsCompanion sometimes you need to have a short-term tool to help you while you solve the long-term problem. crutches don't make my broken leg heal, but they help me get around in the meantime, and that's better than nothing.
this is yet another silly, silly debate designed to make women feel bad about their appearance and choices. why is a woman required to do yoga because she feels comfortable wearing pants that have yoga in the name? i see a thousand people every single day wearing "running shoes" who aren't doing any running. the fact that some company branded an apparel item towards a particular purpose doesn't require that consumers buy into it. let people wear what ever the eff they want to wear, without comment.
@soogee yup, i'm on your end of that spectrum. my money gets spent on waxing, thanks to dark, fast-growing leg hair
my parents wouldn't let us have pets for a long while. finally around middle school when my friend's gerbil had babies, i was allowed to adopt one of them. being a pretty solitary introvert, i spent more time with the gerbil than anyone human. one night while they were out she crawled into the gears of a recliner and got cut on her head, badly enough that her tiny eye swelled shut. i called my parents at their friends house, bawling, afraid my best friend was going to die. they came home right away and took her straight to the emergency vet. she came back with a single stitch in the top of her head. she was so small, that's all that would fit. it didn't dawn on me until i was older that they must have spent a fair chunk of money on emergency stitches for a rodent, just to make me happy. they told me later she'd bitten the vet hard. but my parents never mentioned the cost.
also this: "It makes sense to be angry about inequality, about the fact that women are still being paid less for doing the same work that men do, about how women are constantly being told to lean in but are then penalized for doing so. But is this what you’re really angry about?" --- if it were me, yeah. that IS exactly what i would be angry about, and i would be right to be. it's total bullshit, and that was a really dismissive comment- acknowledging the disparity exists and then questioning the validity of her being upset about it. why shouldn't she be angry that someone who will supposedly report to her, with no experience, is apparently considered equally valuable to the company?
@apples and oranges i agree with you guys. that's toxic. and if that's what the letter writer can expect going forward, then it takes away any feelings of security that the raise might have previously given her. i mean, what's next - he's gets the next promotion instead of her?
i second all the calls for taking the promotion, if what you really want to do is be in the foreign service. you don't need grad school for that. i'm good friends with two ladies who got in directly after undergrad, and i know a lot of other people in it, many of whom don't have a grad degree. the test series is brutal but it wasn't about their education. it was about problem solving, working with others, leadership, curiosity, perseverance. Also, if you get past the tests, you have to get a security clearance. this process took 9 months for my one friend, and it's up to you to support yourself during that time. you aren't "hired" until you're cleared.