Wow. It really upsets me that money could make abuse and violence of this level just disappear in the eyes of the people who are supposed to stop it. It sounds like their father was a very troubled man who suffered similar neglect in his own childhood and makes me worry if the cycle is perpetuating itself again and again until the money runs out.
@Michelle LeBlanc@twitter This was my first thought as well. I liked the article, and the general points still hold, but looking at the shows rather than the books (and especially details from the later books re: financial and religious institutions) makes it a much simpler story. [and Robert was a terrible king, but I feel like he was kept in the dark intentionally about how much of a deficit he was running] I am clearly the worst nerd, but ASOIAF and economics are basically the two things I get nerdiest about.
@Quinn A@twitter My very strong suspicion is that the mortgage she is paying is a much larger mortgage on a much more expensive house than she would have if she was single. (maybe she did own it when she was single, and used to make more money, but the decision to keep it is based on the fact that he lives there and 100% of household disposable income is not going towards the mortgage.) Separate accounts are OK, but using separate accounts to justify one partner having a much higher standard of living while the other partner takes on the bulk of joint expenses, is not even close to OK. My husband and I have separate accounts and it works out fine, but if one partner is feeling in controlled and in poverty, that is not working and if the marriage is going to work, it needs to change.
@DickensianCat I used to work out in the morning before work almost every day. and I did like that the fuzziest, least mentally sharp part of my day was spent on something that didn't require many brain cells. but then I worked out after work a couple of times and realized I can lift a lot more and run a lot faster in the evenings. After that, morning workouts just felt like shitty, sleep-deprived workouts.
@WaityKatie This was my reaction. Not that I didn't enjoy the article, but I REALLY enjoyed his name.
@MuffyStJohn I used to be very sentimental over objects as a child (to the point where I really was a little mini hoarder, refusing to get rid of dusty old papers with my 3rd grade homework) and as I got older I changed drastically. Probably because my childhood level of sentimentality was totally unsustainable and resulting in once-a-year weekends of crying when my dad forced me to clean my room. Now I hate stuff. HATE HATE HATE. I won't even let it in to begin accumulating sentimental value. I'm pretty sure if something like this happened to me, I would flat out tell my relatives that I was throwing out their stuff unless they gave it to someone else. I think I get so harsh partly because I don't want to build the attachment (also: I may be a jerk) but I would rather make a loved one cry once than lie and pay storage bills for years. Like you, I don't think it's a judgment one way or another (the author's relationship with her grandmother sounds sweet, and your family's keepsakes sound awesome), but once things start carrying meaning I freak out about breaking or misplacing them.
@WaityKatie I've come to realize it's one of those things that goes both ways. As much as part of 25 year old me wished that I had gone for a consulting track position or something out of college or studied computer science/engineering and gotten a job as a programmer, one of the things I really like about getting older is gaining the perspective to realize that there are always going to be paths not taken and there's no One True Path that is going to be superior at all stages. By fantasy measures, sure, I could have done things differently, but given the constraints of reality things are pretty good.
I spent most of my mid-twenties freaking out that I hadn't planned better and worried that my career was stalling because I had the "not sure what I want to do" attitude up until that point. I took whatever jobs I could get through "weak ties," temped in the hope of getting a full time offer, and mostly applied for (and interviewed for, and got) jobs that seemed like what I was qualified for rather than jobs in industries I wanted to work in. and at age 30 now, it's worked out. I really like my job, feel like it's growing into a long term career even though it was something I would have never thought to do at age 20. I know where I'm headed personally, I like where I live and where I'm going. There's only so much age 20 me knew about what age 30 me would be like, and trying different things rather than picking one path and embarking on it as hard as I could, is absolutely what told me that.
@thematt I totally agree with you. I'm still wrestling with exactly how I feel about it (though either way I'm glad I took the time to read it, since I found the piece really thought provoking), but my favorite part was with the woman on the bus. After several paragraphs talking about his own disdain (whether irrational/jealous/based on previous experience) for those who are better off than he is, he's confronted by the woman on the bus who (I assume based on the fact that she's on the bus and he's in a private car) is significantly poorer than he is and very, very angry. There's so much of this attitude of class war without acknowledging his own privilege that until the end I assumed it was intentional.
@RocketSurgeon agreed. I was going to say the ice cream bar because it sounds messy, but there's something about biting into a disappointing peach that always makes me so sad.