On Figuring Out a Career While Being Married to an Academic

@Laurabean @lemur_niemer I actually have no idea what it's from!

Posted on March 12, 2014 at 10:05 pm 0

On Figuring Out a Career While Being Married to an Academic

@Sarah Rain@facebook Awww thank you! This comment completely made my day!

Posted on March 12, 2014 at 10:04 pm 0

On Figuring Out a Career While Being Married to an Academic

@clo @Laurabean @coastalelite @octagonfudge @laluchita This may be the biggest group of PhD wives I've seen in one place! Nice to know I'm not alone. Sometimes (most times) it's so isolating because he's working really hard at what he's doing and socializing/making friends doesn't come easily to either one of us.

Posted on March 12, 2014 at 10:03 pm 0

On Figuring Out a Career While Being Married to an Academic

@Heather Funk@facebook 1) Best wishes for your wedding! It will be the craziest day and it will go by SO fast! 2) I've made the army wife comparison so many times! Plus we have to pay for our own moves, but at least we don't have to deal with deployments. 3) Ending up in the northeast for his Ivy degree after having lived in the southeast for 24 years was quite the experience. The snow made me cry at LEAST 3x a week and at one point our car got towed because they extended a parking ban because of the snow plows. That was the worst day. 4) I DREAD the dissertation. That's next year and oh man, I've heard it's going to be rough for not only him, but me as well. Good luck with things! Keep your chin up!

Posted on March 12, 2014 at 10:01 pm 1

On Figuring Out a Career While Being Married to an Academic

@ThatJenn I cannot tell you how many of those conversations I've had with my parents! It's ridiculous. i actually asked my dad the other day "is this a real price for (x)? Because it seems OUTRAGEOUS" and he was like "yeah, that's actually on the low side." Perspective!

Posted on March 12, 2014 at 9:57 pm 0

On Figuring Out a Career While Being Married to an Academic

@aetataureate @.abbey I loved this comment! Completely cracked me up, because perspective is such a funny thing when it comes to markers of stability (as you called them and I think is accurate). I think to me, adopting a dog represents not having to move every two to three years and being able to buy a house. It's so hard to find a place to rent that allows dogs or doesn't charge an insane pet rent (at least in the cities I've lived in) that getting a dog now would limit us a lot in terms of where we could live- moving is hard enough without that added stress. Plus it's a lot of commitment and we still want to travel so much as a couple- pets make that harder! And both sets of parents hate dogs, so it would make visiting home either more stressful or more expensive.

Posted on March 12, 2014 at 9:55 pm 0

On Figuring Out a Career While Being Married to an Academic

@prolol I definitely didn't mean that as a blanket statement! My mom had a really awesome, exciting, interesting, challenging career before she had me and left her job. It's a job I would LOVE to have now, especially because she got to see a ton of really amazing places and spent a lot of time in India and Hong Kong (she was actually pregnant with me on one international trip, which I think is so cool). She's also kind of... lost now that my brother and I have both moved out. She's still trying to figure out what her "retirement" looks like and it makes me really sad to see her so bored.

Posted on March 12, 2014 at 9:50 pm 0

On Figuring Out a Career While Being Married to an Academic

@TrotskyHoldsMyiPod They're really fun to do! I was super nervous, but Mike is so nice and I know the commenters at the Billfold are great!

Posted on March 12, 2014 at 9:48 pm 0

On Figuring Out a Career While Being Married to an Academic

@coastalelite @ollyolly @coastalelite @OllyOlly I wouldn't say it was an "agreement," exactly. It was just the way of things that since we had (JUST) gotten married, we were in this together. It made sense that I would be the breadwinner for a few years- or so was the plan until I couldn't find a job (which was really disheartening and those 10 months were really dark for me). Once I got married, my parents cut me off financially (in a kind way, and I still have an emergency credit card that is the same one that I've had since I was 13 even though we have our own credit cards and an emergency fund). He did bring in income, though! He worked part time while he was in school, which made me feel even more guilty even though he NEVER made me feel that way himself- it was all my feelings of crushing responsibility (was new to me, frankly). I wouldn't be doing this for anyone that guilt tripped me into supporting him. He is an awesome person and feels tremendously guilty about putting me through this.

Posted on March 12, 2014 at 9:47 pm 0

On Figuring Out a Career While Being Married to an Academic

@Daisy I wish we got tuition waivers!!! That would be really, really helpful. We do get 70% off tuition, but even with that it's still $1600 a class for a 3 hour credit. That's not really in the cards at the moment, sadly.

Posted on March 12, 2014 at 9:40 pm 0