On Do 1 Thing Diddy Diddy Dum Diddy Do

My 1 thing is to buy dog food on the way home. Well, no. I have an infinite list of holiday-related 1 things, but I know that everybody else does too so I won’t bore you with those. My most immediate 1 thing is keeping the hellhound alive for another 3 weeks or so at least (we go through a LOT of dog food.) Also, congrats Auntie Ester! I have nieces and nephews but am not especially close to any of them due to geographic distance.

Posted on December 18, 2014 at 4:06 pm 0

On The Cost of an Ugly Christmas Sweater

First, can we all agree that the "ugly sweater" thing has jumped the shark at this point? Second, semi-related ugly sweater story that I find any excuse to tell: at a previous employer, I worked with an older, apparently religious woman. We were not having an ugly sweater party per se, but it must have been close to the holidays. She was completely unironically wearing a homemade sweatshirt with the words JESUS CHRIST stenciled on it in festive holiday colors. I just think that, as a non-religious person who is frequently blasphemous, there are many occasions when a JESUS CHRIST sweatshirt would perfectly convey my feelings about work and life in general.

Posted on December 18, 2014 at 9:58 am 8

On Terrible Financial Decisions That I Have Made or Am Considering Making

I'm no stranger to traveling to/from inconvenient Midwestern locations (thanks in large part to the in-law contingent), but good lord, that seems like a lot of money! I'm not sure where exactly in Iowa you're going, but would it be any cheaper to fly into Minneapolis or Chicago and rent a car (or ask your long-suffering parents to pick you up?)

Posted on December 17, 2014 at 2:36 pm 0

On Transitional Furniture

One of the many Lacks I owned is still alive and kicking as patio furniture. The fact that it is made of paper definitely explains why it looks the way it does after six months of being exposed to the elements.

Posted on December 17, 2014 at 10:18 am 0

On How Much Did You Spend On Music This Year

I was about to say that I only spent ~$30 on music this year, but then I remembered that I bought my mother two CD's (yes, CD's!) for her birthday last week. And if/when I get around to purchasing Run the Jewels, that will bring me up to, what, about $60 total? When I was younger and single-er I spent BOATLOADS of money on live shows, downloads, etc. Now, not so much. Which proves once again that I am officially not a desirable demographic for basically any industry ever.

Posted on December 16, 2014 at 2:17 pm 0

On Iceland Forgives Mortgage Debts in a Year of Jubilee

Aren't Leviticus and Deuteronomy a couple of the more.......unsavory parts of the Bible? The same parts that certain "Christians" cite as a way to justify their bigotry? I'm an extremely lapsed Southern Baptist, so I could be wrong!

Posted on December 15, 2014 at 1:06 pm 0

On Why Put Your Family Photos on Facebook When You can Put Them on the Moon?

@garli Seriously. Sometime in the future when some other life form is exploring the moon, they're gonna be like "Who left all this crap up here? This place is a dump!"

Posted on December 12, 2014 at 2:55 pm 0

On Is Your Boss Springing for a Holiday Party

I have never in my life attended an office holiday party that involved booze. Which is probably for the best, in the grand scheme of things, but I still feel gypped. At my current employer, the segment of the office that I belong to is having a booze-free white elephant exchange in the conference room during work hours, while the other half of the office (that falls under a completely different budget) gets an after-hours offsite catered event, with actual food, and booze, and a plus-one. Needless to say, this causes a LOT of internal strife.

Posted on December 9, 2014 at 4:18 pm 0

On Above The 'Fold: The Very First Billfold Live Event!

Ooooh, I would go just to argue with Josh in person about the necessity of air conditioning in the southern half of the US. Somebody else will have to fight the good fight for me! Sounds like it will be a fabulous time!

Posted on December 4, 2014 at 4:57 pm 1

On Office Bathrooms: Where Everyone Is a Disgusting Monster

In my youth, I once worked at a small office with a one-stall women’s room that also had a lock for the main door. I routinely locked myself in there for hungover power naps on the countertop. Not disgusting (well, yeah, a little), but definitely semi-monstrous. They probably just thought I had routine gastrointestinal distress.

Posted on December 3, 2014 at 10:35 am 0