@vanderlyn Good story though! It's spot on about the pain of carrying groceries and the awesomeness of free lobby stuff. And feeling both "comforted and perplexed" by nice but odd handyman behavior.
@garli Absolutely. My apartment doesn't have a dishwasher and I do most of the dishes, so if I don't wear gloves at least half the time (and all the time in the winter) the skin on my hands gets very dry and cracks and bleeds.
@Derbel McDillet Ditto. There was no delicious, homemade treat I would not part with in exchange for some pre-packaged, artificially colored foodstuff in middle school. I would trade practically my whole lunch for a few Doritos. On the other hand, there are some junk foods that don't really make any sense unless you're introduced to them as a kid. Twinkies, for example, which I first tried as a 25-year-old, are simply terrible.
Ugh I've also done the cost per night math and am always STUNNED. I could easily get rid of my apartment and stay in decent hotels or nice AirBnBs in different cities every night. Plus I bet I could sell all this STUFF (where did it all come from?) for a decent chunk of change. New life plan.
This happened to me at my coffee shop once! It felt lovely, but I actually didn't accept the coffee, because I was on my way home anyway and was like oh I will just make a coffee there. Now I wish I had taken it, as an opportunity to establish rapport or whatever (although that barista eventually left).
On A Father-Daughter Duo Answers Your Questions: Balancing a Relationship With Financial Differences
I think Meghan's dad finds a good way to approach this when he suggests you "make it clear that you are prepared to make a disproportionate contribution to expenses on the basis that your beau contributes a defined amount each month to reduce his debt." That way you're not coming off like, "I can't be with you if you don't deal with your student debt." Instead it's more like "let me help you so you can help yourself!"
Oh man, my husband and I had a big ol' fight (and we never fight) about whose account we were going to use. Deciding to join accounts was easy, deciding who was going to have to switch the account numbers on their auto payments was much harder (Me: "I'll have to call ConEd!" Him: "But I just had to change all my autopays last month because my debit card number was stolen!") Much like you, I wisely refrained from ever yelling "But I am the fiscally responsible one who does not lose my debit cards!" and eventually gave in to being added to his account. But then I was sore about it for months, and grumbled about the patriarchy a lot. A year later and I've gotten over it, it now feels like my account as much as his (even though his name is first on the mail they won't stop sending us... the upside there is that I can try and pretend it's his responsibility to shred it.)
The best part of that article about investing dollars is Erin Markey's idea: "My first instinct was to invest it in a stripper’s G-string or a barista’s tip jar. But I’m not sure how that translates as investment. I do know that the more frequently you visit/tip a barista—your neighborhood barista, who does not work at a Starbucks—the more often you are treated like family and you get free coffee. I think that the more you invest in a stripper, the less you get free things from that stripper." (Note: Not a reason not to pay strippers!)
I would never think to have a friend who borrowed my car pay for repairs! Especially if they were borrowing it as a favor to me (even if they also benefitted). Unless you crashed it into a telephone pole or something, but I assume you would have put that in the story.
I will happily edit things for free when it's only going to take me a few minutes (your artist's statement or cover letter for example). Anything more than a few pages I expect to be compensated proportionately, but if it's a friend I'll accept a bottle of wine, help hanging shelves, etc.