Lol guys I use cloth. We have six covers and a service that's $35/week, and it's WAY easy.
@lemonadefish hell yes
@twofish Yeah! WIth us, he was very like, I know I want to be with you forever and have children, etc., but the idea of a wedding did not / does not appeal to him. He said me wanting it made him want it. I was (am?) anxious about the idea of marriage and planning a wedding has no appeal for me. But I do want it!! I think ultimately I wanted him to want it enough to assuage my fears, let me avoid reconciling all of my hang ups, but that didn't happen. Which is probably for the best! We had to have a lot of vulnerable conversations, which I'm grateful for. But I don't blame people for wanting to avoid such a loaded subject. Saying what you want when you're not supposed to HAVE to say it is hard, in a world where being proposed to is conflated with being TRULY LOVED, etc.
@annev17 it's horrible!
I think it's very hard but very important to communicate your needs and expectations about marriage together. VERY HARD. Especially when you -- or okay, I, are very ambivalent and it's hard to articulate what you want, much less defend it. It's so hard. But it's okay to want what you want. And own it. SO hard though. Anyway, I would have dismissed this idea a few year ago but now i get it. You can put this off for so long, sometimes a timeline is helpful, a kick in the ass to make a decision. Obviously tough and signals two people aren't on the same page, but you can be on the same page about your love and relationship and not about MARRIAGE and everything it means (which is usually totally different to different people, even people who are crazy in love).
@Meaghano to clarify: I mean the sex part
haha I think this is one of those things that is made harder by there being two people. no one gets to go with their gut.
@Meaghano Also yeah it's insane because the apartments in a three story building are never going to be all the same temperature.
@Katni Haha, it IS insane, but the landlord pays for the heat for the apartment (6-family building), so generally landlords control the heat. Which is why there are rules for not freezing people out. Also the thermostat is IN A LOCKED BOX so we couldn't change it if we wanted to -- which we do, frequently, and have debated just breaking the box on occasion.
@Allison we should open a 12-14-16