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On Everyone's Experience Is Different (Ain't That the Truth)
@allreb ....man that was long winded and I think I lost my own point, which was meant to be: I think it's important that people HAVE these conversations, even if there is anger and calling out, because it helps people from all over the financial spectrum to discuss these things, INCLUDING privilege and how it effects people's financial decisions. (And I'm thankful to Logan for sharing.)
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On Everyone's Experience Is Different (Ain't That the Truth)
Re: things with privilege and family, I think a big thing when discussing it is to keep in mind *why* people might be calling it like they see it, or might find it annoying. It's valid to discuss -- this site is great and useful because it does discuss, very frankly, things like Logan's debt and spending. But it can still sound like tone deaf, total privileged people problems, to someone who grew up without a lot of financial security and essentially no parental help post-college (ie, me, in this case). I think there's a lot to say here about jealousy and anger and resentment that I'm not really articulate enough to express. There have been posts here that I've found very hard to read because I've had a hard time sympathizing with stories of people who've frittered away windfalls or sent themselves into debt over non-crisis situations. As someone who has no safety net beyond what I've got in the bank right now, I sometimes want to gripe about how life isn't fair, how some of us don't have the privilege of making bad decisions because no one's there to bail us out, etc etc. Those emotions are very real, and very visceral, and hard to overcome. But they're not pretty or something I'm proud of, and I don't think they're all that useful. One thing this site has done for *me* is help me start to process and get past a lot of that resentment, just because it *is* so frank in the discussion of "here's how I got here, here's how it effects me right now." Of course, I'm nowhere near as zen about it as Mike Dang, but hey, I've gotta have something to aspire to, right? (For work/life balance, on the other hand, everything Mike described is waaaaay too familiar to me. Mike, take a sick day when you're sick! That's what the day is for! And you will most likely get healthier faster if you take the time you need to recover, and then work more efficiently when you're healthy to make up for the lost time. It has taken me ages to get over my internalized feelings of "but I could be being productive right now!" and really take the time I need.)
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On I Can't Do Everything, But I Can Do 1 Thing
Uuught. I called the orthopedist to schedule a cortisone shot. I guess attending the appointment next Thursday probably won't count, though.
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On The Logistics of Paying for Your Education Yourself (Mostly)
@allreb Oh also - a big chunk of the living expenses my parents contributed to were also out of social security. My dad turned 65 when I was only 15, so I got benefits for the next three years. They went into a separate account he held for me and used for Stuff I Needed -- clothes, books, etc through high school, the computer I got to start college with, and then the rest for living expenses freshman year (so I would be able to focus on transitioning into college without worrying too much about money, which was lovely and I'm very grateful for). After that it was gone and I had a workstudy to cover all of my own meals out/books/etc.
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On The Logistics of Paying for Your Education Yourself (Mostly)
My folks started saving before I was born, and even so really only covered about a third of my college (including room/board). I lucked into having some much-better-off relatives who also valued education (and considered me a grandchild even though I'm actually their grand-niece) and chipped in to cover about another third. The remaining third was a combination of loans and scholarships/grants. I went to a stupidly expensive private school (...it seemed like a good idea at the time...) with a repayment plan that was originally going to span 30 years. But I'm chipping away at it faster than the minimum requirements and have it down to about another 12 years (after having paid it for the past seven).
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On Teach For America Burned Me Out
From my older sister/roommie, who teaches in a high poverty urban school: TFA is terrible because it encourages the mindset of teaching for two years as a stepping stone to *something else* when you're done -- it'll look good on applications. And it's terrible again because students get screwed over by having a new teacher every year, not just because they never get to develop relationships with teachers but because new teachers are not very good at teaching yet. And it's terrible again because, well, new teachers are *really* not very good at teaching yet -- she's in her eighth year now and says it took her five years to really learn what she was doing. There's no way a crash course can prepare you (her master's degree from a very, very good grad program didn't prepare her). Basically, TFA throws warm, optimistic bodies at a huge problem and all it does is turn those people into cynics who have zero interest in ever teaching again.
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On Reader Mail: My Credit Card Company Reduced My Credit Limit
I got a similar slashing a few years ago, due to dumb behavior (paying late repeatedly due to never being able to find my checkbook). It sure as heck got me motivated to pay all my bills on time (yay automating things!) but it didn't have a huge impact on my credit score. It definitely dipped, but it was from "very good" to "still pretty much okay" -- I was freaking out about getting a credit check because I was hoping to find a new apartment soon when that happened, and I was still well above the threshold the apartment's owners were looking for. (I never did get the credit line re-increased, but I also have never had anywhere near the full $1800, either.)
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On Which Sunk Cost Is The Saddest Sunk Cost?
I'm gonna go with the ice cream because of the potential damage to the purse. D:
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On Friday Estimate: How Much Are You Spending This Weekend?
Hmmm. I know I'm going out for dinner and drinks tonight (should be no more than $40, I hope not even that) and I usually end up getting smallish meals out on the weekends (bagels, etc) so I'll toss in another $20 for that. My sister/roomie and I are planning to pick up some stuff for our apartment, which will also probably run in the $40-$60 range. Sooo... probably around $120.
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On When We Became Grownups
I've had sporadic moments of feeling like an adult (the first time I filled out forms to get my own insurance, first adult job, second adult job, first apartment...) but for me the BIGGIE was when someone tried to rob my apartment. I was home and me screaming sent the attempted robber running off, thank god. I freaked out a bit, but still called the cops, the building manager, the super (to come change my locks), etc etc. It took a few hours during which I was shaken but okay and able to get shit done. Then everything calmed down, and THEN I started sobbing incoherently and freaking out. But I felt like I won at adulthood by holding things together until everything was under control.