On When One Person Earns More Than the Other in a Relationship

@beastlyburden There is also a false binary in the thinking here. Work is either grinding and awful or it’s fulfilling but underpaid. Either the author really believes that, or he uses it to justify not thinking outside the box. In any case, it smacks of immaturity to me. Grownups brainstorm solutions that come the closest to being good for both people rather than shrug and go back to building fruit baskets.

Posted on April 1, 2014 at 10:41 am 1

On When One Person Earns More Than the Other in a Relationship

@WriteBikeBobbi I think the main worry is that the author expresses very little willingness to do what you did and take on the burden of doing something hates to give his partner a break. Yes they are figuring it out, but at the moment the dynamic comes across as problematic.

Posted on March 31, 2014 at 2:33 pm 2

On When One Person Earns More Than the Other in a Relationship

This dynamic doesn't seem sustainable in the long run. I'm all for not wanting to be an office drone merely for the sake of financial equity in a relationship, but at a certain point the author's love of freedom is going to run smack into what's best for the relationship. The burden of being the primary breadwinner by working at a very demanding job can really wear on a person.

Posted on March 31, 2014 at 2:07 pm 4

On When There Are Different Points of Views About Money in a Relationship

I'm in the process of trying to furnish and decorate my new place, so I'm not quite willing to call out the wife as silly (anyone else get a whiff of "women be shopping" there?). One of the more interesting things I've experienced is that figuring out what a room "needs" tends to raise these questions about practical versus frivolous choices. Does any one really "need" a buffet just because it takes care of that odd empty spot at the end of the dining room? No but then I still have an odd empty spot at the end of a dining room that bothers me for reasons I don't quite care to admit to. Just having dining room feels decadent after nearly a decade of eating at my desk while watching Hulu. I'm assuming this is the item she's talking about: http://www.potterybarn.com/products/modular-bar-system-with-wine-hutchopen-hutch-su13/?pkey=cbars-furniture&cm_src=bars-furniture||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_--_- And, yeah I'm not quite on board with this either mostly because I think there are cheaper and more aesthetically pleasing ways to go. But if you collect and drink wine, having something like a wine hutch really isn't all that silly. I recently started making sure I had a nicely stocked wine rack so that I wouldn't constantly be running to the overpriced wine shop near me whenever I had to show up at someone's house for dinner.

Posted on March 5, 2014 at 9:46 am 3

On How Much Should the Dentist Cost?

Lots of dentist hate out there. On the one hand, I totally get it. When I was four I chipped my tooth and ended up at the mercy of a man who'd never worked with children and extracted without any anaesthesia! That said I also had lovely dentists after that. It wasn't until I got braces that I begin to really dread anyone poking around my mouth. When I was in college I spent a year calling alumni for donations. Calling dental school alumni was really interesting. They hated giving back to the school, and were all too happy to tell you exactly why. But they weren't jerks about it. Instead they seemed incredibly frustrated both with the expensive training and the constant sense that people just don't like dentists. I don't know if this jives with @JoeSchmoe's experience, and it certainly doesn't make me any less anxious about seeing the dentist, but I would definitely like to hear more.

Posted on January 30, 2014 at 9:57 am 0

On We Hope You Love Her As Much As We Already Do

Hope this means we'll still see some long form stuff from Logan. I would be very sorry to lose that.

Posted on October 19, 2013 at 2:40 pm 1

On You're a Terrible Adult Because Your Parents Loved You Too Much

This doesn't end at high school either. In grad school a parent emailed me to ask for an extension for her daughter.

Posted on October 8, 2013 at 1:44 pm 2

On On Fran Lebowitz and Work

This chat made me So Sad. I'm really not sure where I fall in this love work hate work spectrum. Love my job, love that I HAVE job, detest a good number of things that said job entails. I think what keeps me from falling too deeply into the Hate Work abyss is that I hate more the person I am when I'm not working. I feel awful, guilty, anxious. I'm curious about what kind of coping mechanisms Logan has to deal with her depression now that she can't spend money. Something that's not quite as active as going for a run, but not bed or the bar. Also, if it helps, I so look forward to Logan's longer essays. They're funny and real and sad and amazing.

Posted on September 27, 2013 at 5:27 pm 0

On Interview With a Woman Who Wants to Pay for Her Boyfriend But He Won't Let Her

I think Claire might have to meet him half way on the subject of a budget. Unemployment gnaws at you and makes every expenditure look frivolous. The fact is that until he gets a job, he likely won't feel good about eating meals on her dime because it will just intensify his anxiety. Perhaps she can agree to the idea of a budget and insist on a going out budget being part of that. This means that regardless of how tight things are she still put X dollars towards that budget. That might be a way of reaching some kind of peace. And they're both going to have to come to terms that, for her, being with him is going to mean being a bit more frugal than she otherwise would be, and, for him, being with her is going to mean spending a few dollars on a night out on a semi-regular basis. That's how relationships work.

Posted on September 19, 2013 at 4:12 pm 1

On Also No Need to Fill Out a FAFSA to Read Some Books

English majors are smack dab in the middle of the unemployment spectrum here http://journalistsresource.org/studies/society/education/college-majors-employment-sciences-vs-humanities-data. Only 1% higher than computer science majors and accounting. This is also two years out of date. Not to mention the fact that MBA programs and the like are complaining that students are coming in with little to no writing or analytical skills. If you're thinking of getting into something like publishing yeah jobs prospects are slim, but that doesn't mean English majors are unemployable dreamers with no skills.

Posted on August 14, 2013 at 12:38 pm 3