I was the Jane in this post (http://thebillfold.com/2013/07/dick-and-jane-both-work-hard-but-jane-pays-the-bills/) about how my ex and I did money (tldr: I paid for everything, he paid for nothing, we were always in the red). Just thought I’d give an update to all those who were “DTMFA!”… Well, I did! Not entirely for financial reasons, but that did definitely play a part. I made a little breakdown of how my finances measure up from last year when were together to this year. My rent has decreased from $1300/mo to $850/mo but my bills haven’t gone down that much because my ex left me with $9,000 in debt that I pay $300/mo towards (I consolidated credit card & line of credit debt for a 3 year term loan with a 2.5% + prime interest rate for those interested. I received a tax refund for the first time in years by filing as single instead of commonlaw after we broke up that I used to pay off my student loan so I currently have no other debt). Overall, my income and my expenses are more or less about the same, but I now have the freedom to spend my money the way I want to and the peace of mind to not have to be constantly checking my account balance every day to make sure I can afford coffee in the morning (living with my ex meant my bank balance would consistently go below $0 and we’d use my Visa or line of credit to buy groceries and other basics every month). So even though the monetary value of being single isn’t that large — the emotional value of living alone in a place I love that’s close enough to walk or ride my bike to work, of not having to look after anyone other than myself, of not feeling weighed down by financial stresses, of being able to spend the money I earn on the friends I love and even on a vacation with my mom while still having enough left over to start a TFSA (and soon a RRSP) is immeasurable. Anyways, here’s my before and after: 2013 (dating) / 2014 (single) I keep track of every nickel I spend in an excel spreadsheet, these are rounded totals. My income is about $3,000/mo (depending on how many shifts I work) Bills (rent, hydro, phone, loan, etc) $1,750 / $1,570 (down a bit, even considering the term loan) Ex (his drugs, his work supplies…) $360 / $0 (down obviously) Beauty (clothes, make-up, hair cuts…) $160 / $280 (up since I now have the money to spend on myself) Fun (shows, vacation, going out with friends…) $45 / $290 (up – this is a good thing! Spending time with friends! Having fun! This is still very novel and exciting) Food (groceries, morning Starbucks, eating out at restaurants…) $550 / $490 (down even tho I’m eating out with friends a lot more) House (cleaning supplies, toilet paper, laundry…) $55 / $95 (up mostly due to having to buy a new bed and other things when I moved) Savings $0 / $500 (up! It’s so exciting to have real, actual savings and not just money I put aside that I later have to pull out at the end of the month because my ex spent all our money on pot)
I think I'm one of those rare people that will literally enjoy sitting anywhere. Saw Gravity in 3D while sitting in the front row and it was great because we felt completely engrossed in the film. And then I saw Catching Fire alone and sat in the last row, centre seat, and thoroughly enjoyed not having anyone behind me so I could be completely inconspicuous crying with District 11 and eating my homemade smuggled snacks.
Being able to manage people's lives like this seems like such a superhero skill. She's a real life Alfred!
@NoName Ohhh that's a great line.
"To deal with your boss/coworker/whomever, you start imagining yourself as an actor in a play, to emotionally distance yourself from their comments." Oh wow, I've actually done this.
@s. dekker I liked that too. Also: "We are subject to enough delusions in this life without adding to them the belief that the girl with the name tag is secretly in love with us." YES. Being fast and efficient should be enough, I shouldn't have to basically flirt with everyone who comes to my counter as well.
I think a lot about this sort of thing, especially lately. I recently quit working on a project and it was really hard to admit that it was making me miserable because my 20-something self would have died to get asked to do it. But, really, nothing is worth the stress and disrespect some people can throw at you even if it seems 'on paper' to be a dream job. Saying no to (or having no regrets or shame from quitting) a job that someone else, even a younger version of you, would die to have is actually a really empowering and rewarding feeling.
I was lucky to also have my job count towards my practicum (internship). It was arranged that my practicum would basically train me for a different area of the company and I was hired on there afterwards (at a better payrate and classification!)
$130 for two boots seems about right. I've paid $70 for a pair of my boots to be resoled. This was completely worth it to me -- I'd paid $300 for them two years previously, and with the resoling they lasted an extra two years before I completely destroyed them at a muddy outdoor party. I also recently paid $20 to have some soles that were coming loose glued back on. I probably could have done this myself with a $10 tube of ShoeGoo but paying them to do it was totally worth it 'cause I live in a wet climate and hate wet feet so I really needed them to be glued on properly. I go to cobblers a lot and have always felt that it was worth the money. But I'd rather pay money to fix something that fits me perfectly and I love than tossing them and buying something new. Not only would that probably cost the same amount of money but it would take up more of my time (shopping) and contribute to this whole disposable culture of fast fashion.
On Locked Out
@Madeline Shoes "ha door chains" is right! My boyfriend and I locked ourselves out while in the backyard gardening. The handle to the back door was locked but we knew the front door only had the chain on because the deadbolt was sticky. My boyfriend just walked right up to it and with one swift kick walked right in the front door. It was like out of a movie! We fixed our deadbolt after that.