@garysixpack for sure, but divorce vs. just walking away does tend to protect the less financially stable partner from utter financial ruin and allow them to start over.
@Allison I'm with you! Baby carrots make me hiccup, also, and normal ones don't. It's the chemicals!!
Super messed up they put her pay back down! Not cool.
I'm 29, and had my first office job at 14 so I feel like I'm sort of on the cusp of both camps and can switch it up for each audience. I both respond instantly to IM/Text as well as check my voicemail (albeit less frequently!). When I worked in theater this was a lot harder since basically everyone refused technology but now I work in a startup so everything is very youth and uber technology focused so you can either jump on IM (all line employees and middle management) or miss the conversation (exec team). I spend a lot of time showing people how to use things like Google docs or IM.
@garli i so agree. for example i always unload the dishwasher, because my wife hates it and i don't care. there are things she does 99% of the time. it feels really equal and if not we discuss and make changes as needed. also it's nice to know that you can chill and let the other person do their job and then switch roles, instead of always having to be 'on' and help at every task. it sounds exhausting!
@julebsorry i use this system and am fine with it. first of all we have a dishwasher, so really i'm just washing pots/pans/knives and second i don't mind the quantity as much as doing the dishes at all. so i feel like it works for us pretty well. plus in your system you say you do more of the work. in ours it feels very equal and we each do what we are better at. sometimes we switch it up but in general there's no resentment because we both helped out.
@nell this is my system with my wife as well, with me being the dishwasher. everyone is happy with this. on the rare occassion i make dinner, she washes up. win/win.
@Runawaytwin Yeah, I agree. I live about 90 minutes from San Francisco and this just wouldn't work for me. I would love to move somewhere cheaper but I'm waiting for my wife to finish school. My rent alone is double the morgage payment stated in the article. I want more articles about saving 10k for married people who have student loans, average incomes, cell phones etc.
My last two places made us do it through a website where we had an account (rentpayment.com or something like that). Now our landlords are a senior couple who live 20 feet from us so we just give them a check.
@Meaghan O'Connell Aww, thanks. Heh, yeah that's what I keep telling myself. The 'opacity of it all' really resonated because I'm hearing that from other people too. I had a chemical pregnancy the first time we tried and that was definitely my feeling for those few days. Most of what I worry about is the recovery and going back to work. Especially afte Ester put up that piece about the Mommy penalty until age 6...sigh. Why can't we have a year off in America for maternity leave? Luckily my wife is a grad student so the plan is she would do the bulk of childcare until we can enroll in the low cost daycare they have at her school.