Helping out family is great, but it sounds like they are skipping some important steps in emotional development (i.e., learning to stand on your own two feet and, er, be an adult). There's a lot of expectation/entitlement here rather than simply helping out in tough times or offering a leg up. I saw this recently in my ex-boyfriend's family--the dad had a lot of money so, while no one was living high on the hog, they also never had to completely earn their own way. The results were a lot of emotionally immature and arrested people. Good luck to you. This type of familial pattern can be very difficult to break out of.
Frankly I think it's ridiculous that potential employers ask this. Who decided they are entitled to this private information? Your salary history is none of their business, and in fact irrelevant. All that matters is the level of the job you are interviewing for. If they think you can do that job and they know what it demands, then the offer should be based on that, not on what you've made in the past. I usually say "I'm looking for a range of $70K to $80K" or whatever.
From what I've read and heard, apartment-hunting in New York sounds like the last circle of hell, truly. I admire anyone with the fortitude to go through it once, let alone multiple times!
It sounds like you were working there for about a month maybe? I think you had valid concerns, but a month was probably too early to try to start changing the terms of your mutually agreed-upon salary. If I were you I probably would have waited at least six months to build up trust in your abilities, reliability, and professionalism. Then you would have been in a much stronger position for negotiation. But now you know the pitfalls of this kind of employment and you'll be prepared next time!
@peacheater It's totally an American thing. I think we are a rarity among industrialized nations that vacation isn't mandatory for workers. I make sure to take all of mine, but I know that some of the managers at my company make it hard or uncomfortable for employees to do so, which is outright wage theft, especially since we can't roll it over.
Lobster rolls every day? My digestion would rebel along with my bank account.
We have a windowless "personal" room mostly for breastfeeding moms but it was also used for personal phone calls or if you just needed a break, etc. Someone pooped in THERE! Now it's locked. No more catnaps for anyone!
I don't check work email from home, period. I don't have work email set up on my phone either--I have to access it through webmail if I need to. If I was checking my work email from home all the time, I'd be even more of stressed-out mess than I already am. This is a mental and physical health issue. Your personal time is valuable. Guard it like a lion, because if you start creating the expectation that you're on call at all times, it will be very hard to take it back.
I had a job interview recently at a place about which I'd heard rumblings of dissatisfaction (they contacted me). I came up with the question "how do you define productivity in your employees?" Of course they just said some stuff about being engaged. I found out a friend of a friend had left the job, so I talked to her. Turns out this person had lasted less than six months and the person before her, less than that. She said the pace was frenetic, the work hours long, and the job somewhat different than described. I had no reason to think anything had changed so I said no thanks. Really thankful I was able to take advantage of some inside information.
@morecakeplease Ha! Once I was walking along in a new dress and these two young guys (teenagers) were ambling along toward me. I steeled myself for the inevitable, and one of them said very politely, "You look very nice." I was so disarmed. It was funny and very sweet.