The worst is when you get a wedding invitation and they have those stupid little cards that say "we are registered at xyz". I am to the point, just say hey we're getting married but not inviting any guests but please select a gift off this list, otherwise we won't talk to you ever again. It would be cheaper than going to the wedding.
@Megano! Well, this is basically a wedding shower. I think that wedding gifts are not really part of the wedding except recently, but the whole point of a wedding shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts. That and to apparently sit around and watch someone open gifts... ugh the worst.
@This is my new user name Yea just have a small or no registry. They'll figure it out. But, you may get a ton of random gifts too. Some people just want to give gifts, and you can't stop them. I know one couple who received like 15 vases because they didn't register and wanted cash.
@blueblazes I have gotten into SOO many arguments with people about this very topic. Growing up in the south, weddings weren't a huge deal (mind, 30 years ago now) and you got the people something off the registry usually, and it was expected you have a variety of price points on the registry so people could spend as little or as much as you want. Homemade or handcrafted items were common too, like a homemade throw blanket or something like that. It was also considered hugely tacky to give or ask for cash. I lived in the NE for awhile and there are a lot of cultural traditions; Italian and jewish jump to mind, where cash gifts equal or greater in value to the cost of your meal is expected. At Italian-american weddings I have seen the bride walk around with a small purse for the checks that guests give her, I even once saw an italian grandma pull out a checkbook and estimate what the meal was worth! Also, many cultures have "money dances" where people pin money to the bride's dress. So I guess this notion got started somehow, because I have met a lot of people who think it is 100% expected to drop ~$100 pp on gifts.
I like the message and am trying to incorporate ways to reduce my waste in my life as well, but the photo spread/website screams "stuff crazy white rich people will do and think it's fun". I mean, leaving the shoe boxes at the store is not reducing waste, it's just being sanctimonious about it.
@themegnapkin I am on the hunt too, had an IKEA bed for years, now I need a "big girl bed". I don't know about customer service after point of sale, but we have been browsing places like Sears and JC Pennies to try out mattresses. At least their salespeople (i have found) are not using high-pressure sales tactics like those at Sleepy's, Mattress Warehouse etc. Its very frustrating though as there is no way to comparison shop, each store carries slightly separate models, ON PURPOSE so you can't compare.
@Megano! I was very lucky and grew up in a stable household, but my mom had several friends whose stories were so similar, they worked shit jobs to put their husbands through Med/Business school, then stayed home with the kids, then their spouse leaves them just when they have zero job skills after a combo of low level admin jobs and being stay at homes. So sad that this crap still occurs.
@SterlingCooper05 $15 an hour for 3 children is criminal. Nannying in most metro areas, especially DC, is $25 per hour, more for more kids, perhaps a little less for older kids. I love people who support an under-class of underpaid nannies and illegal immigrants who raise their children for pennies. Ask yourself, what would you charge to do the same job? I bet it ain't $15 an hour.
I am making a ta-da list today.