@Chris_HHH My boyfriend and I have a joint checking account that is primarily for utilities and groceries. We also transfer in and out to facilitate paying each other back (like if I put a vacation on my credit card, or when I owe him for half the mortgage payment). There's usually only a couple hundred dollars in the account at at time. The rest of our incomes and expenses are separate. I have student loans and he does not. Right now since we're not married, I am paying them back on my own. We haven't explicitly discussed what we'd do about them assuming we do get married someday. My best guess is that he'd want to contribute at least some of his income to them, since the sooner they're paid off, the better for us as a couple. However, I've had my degree since before I met him. I knew what I was getting into when I took out the loans on my own, and it wasn't a decision he was involved in. Because of that, I personally would be okay with keeping the loans as my own expense if he was unwilling to help me pay them off. I think in the end this is the kind of thing that very much depends on the couple and the circumstances under which you took on the debt. Hope that makes sense!
@the_kate @fleetweek Ditto!!
@garli True. But where this particular article was about money in the context of a relationship, I would've liked more of that context and how they work through the issue, rather than simply stating it's an issue they tiptoe around. @milena Hahaha also true.
@milena You'd think there has to be more to the relationship...but he never mentions it. He only ever talks about her in terms of the money she brings home, and as a potential burden to his lifestyle because she might actually flat out say she wants him to plan for the future someday. That's another thing that really bothered me about this piece. He makes it out to be more like a parent-child relationship than a romantic partnership. I have to wonder what makes the relationship so special to her beyond his housecleaning skills. I can appreciate that he concludes "we're working on it", but reading about HOW they're working on it would've been a lot more interesting to me.
I was excited to read this article because I was expecting something completely different from it. My boyfriend and I, though the gap in our incomes is not nearly threefold, are in very different financial places. He dropped out of college to chase his dream career, makes more than I do, has no student loans, and recently purchased a house. I attended a prestigious/expensive university, went through my life savings and into credit card debt after losing my job a few years back, and have about 7 years to go on my student loans. Our salaries are close enough that we split rent and bills 50/50 once he moved into my apartment, even when I was still paying off credit cards, and even though my loans eat a significant part of my take-home pay each month. Now that he is a homeowner and technically my landlord, money has taken on a whole new dynamic in our relationship. Trying to reconcile this new imbalance in our relationship has been hard on both of us for different reasons. Anyway, I was expecting to read either something I could empathize with (as the less financially successful one trying to contribute to a more even ground), or something that could help me relate better to my boyfriend's position of having the upper hand when it comes to money. This was neither of those things. Just couldn't identify with his attitude that he'd rather live with her discomfort than sacrifice any of his own happiness to bring them more stability as a couple. Felt more like "When one person rides on another person's earnings under the guise of a relationship"...
@megsy Season 5 was the worst. I basically stopped watching when Vaughn left, and caught the last few episodes when he came back. Had to see how it all ended at that point. It had been SO GOOD in the beginning...
@cryptolect Yes, I loved Dollhouse! Liked it better than Firefly even. But not more than Buffy. Never more than Buffy. <3Joss
On Open Thread
Earlier this week I had a bunch of allergy testing done - the gross injections in your arms to see how bumpy you get type - and reconfirmed for the 4th time that I am still allergic to pretty much everything under the sun. The doctor is strongly advocating weekly shots. This was recommended to me as a child and a teenager, but it always seemed like too much of a hassle. Plus, needles? No thanks! But this time I'm starting to think it might be time to bite the bullet, especially since now I have a cat who I am NOT getting rid of. However, I have no idea what kind of costs might be involved. Does anyone out there have experience with allergy shots? I know much of it depends on your insurance, but mine's not very clear about this. Will I have to pay an office visit copay every time I get a shot? In addition to shot preparation, and shot administration? Is the preparation done for multiple shots at once? Like the thought of a weekly shot isn't stressing me out enough in and of itself, I'm really concerned about how expensive this has the potential to be...
I loved The Westing Game! Unlike each of the other books in this post, I never knew anyone else who read it. This is great :)
@Megano! I logged in solely to express agreement with/appreciation for this comment.