Really feel like each and every one of my dental fears have been confirmed. Awesome, thanks so much, A+, would watch again. I don't understand why it is okay for dental providers of all kinds to be jerks and (apparently) straight up assholes. I get that no one really loves the dentist and that uncomfortable things are done and that no one *likes* being lectured about good behaviors. But you know what, that's exactly how you could describe a visit to the OB-GYN and yet you don't hear about the wide-spread anxiety and hatred of going to see them. My last annual exam was painfully pokey and proddy and I got a lecture about getting close to my upper BMI number and not being as good as I should about pre-natal vitamins, but you know what, I didn't leave the office feeling shamed and violated the way leaving the dentist office feels and the dentist is only all up in my mouth! My doctor didn't present herself as a paragon of virtue and me a lazy slob. She is empathetic and while encouraging and informing me of the best behaviors and practices, recognizing that I am only a human patient and so rather than "lose 20 pounds, okay fattie? Just do it or you be really fat and middle aged one day and THEN see how difficult and expensive treatment is. I do it, obviously and it is easy and you should too." (Which is essentially what the dental providers above are saying.) I get "You've gained a bit since I saw you last. That new gelato place in town is so tempting, isn't it? Try to get in a bit more walking and maybe a few healthy food swaps. We'll keep an eye on it and I can get you some time with a dietician if you'd like or if you're worried about it." And I walk away disappointed in myself, sure, but confident I have an ally and that I'm NOT A BAD TERRIBLE SLOB OF A PERSON FOR NOT HAVING PERFECT HEALTH. Does that doctor really just want to tell me "lose weight and take care of myself and be perfect, it's not that hard!" Maybe. And maybe that feeling gets stronger after seeing the 20th person just like me or worse that day, but because she knows that it is smarter to be a partner in health, rather than an adversary, she would never approach things that way. She knows it is in everyone's best interest to have patients WANT to come back and WANT to participate in their care. Dentists seem to deal in shame and wonder why they're disliked. Treat me as a human patient with human frailties and not just a gross mouth that you don't want to really touch because it isn't already perfect and isn't doing exactly what it is told and maybe you'll get somewhere.
@ShellB Wow. I am not a disgusting slob and my anxiety that ALL dental providers think the way you do is what keeps me from regular maintenance and cleanings even though I genetically have terrible teeth. So hey, thanks asshole. Really appreciate knowing this about hygienists.
Thanksgiving proper: Dinner at arelative of my espoused who lives on the northside of Indy (a second cousin twice removed by marriage or something equally esoteric). I've been spared the six years we've been married, but this year, we're stuck. Apparently it involves very cramped quarters, no football and no booze. Which is the exact opposite of the way I'd rather celebrate. I've been pressed into deviled egg and real whipped cream duty. (NB: Deviled eggs on TG? Really? Almost as odd as the lack of alcohol.) (Not really. At all. Lack of potent potables is unheard of and basically a sin.) Cost: $3 in petrol, $3-4 for the heavy cream, $4 for two dozen eggs, $0 for most of the rest of the eggs as I have it on hand but $4 in bacon as the family recipe calls for nearly half a pound crumbled for each dozen. $$$$ for my sober sanity. Secret flask or spiked Starbucks cup may need to be deployed. Black Friday and Beyond: Home to the Chicagoland Area, Costs: Gas - $50ish. Trip Snacks there and back - $10. Friday dinner out, breakfasts and lunches provided by loving grandfather $0. Birthday dinner for Mother on Saturday wherein I will likely pay for the entire party - anywhere from $50 to $300+ depending on what she chooses (pizza and board games at home? Dinner and cocktails for 8 at favorite Italian place?) Gift - $140. Gift for mother on behalf of 13 year old sister - $40 Grand Turkey Day Weekend Total: Let's estimate $600 as to not be terribly surprised when she chooses the very most expensive option.
MrConner places a very high value on clean clothes and an empty hamper at least once a week. I do not and never did and endless piles of laundry haunt my memories of childhood. His office/mancave is across from the laundry room and every Sunday, without fail, he will wash all of the clothes. Not so much the sheets or towels or dishrags or other effluvia needing to be laundered, but once a week ALL of the clothes are clean. And so reader, I married him.
And how are you enjoying Indianapolis? I assume we must work at the same place. Seriously, I work on a campus originally DESIGNED for car-commuters, in a city designed almost solely for cars and yet because of scarce parking (or something?)pay over $60/month to park in a garage that isn't even that close to my office. I just did the math and given my length of employment and NOT including any days where I paid a daily rate to park closer/forgot my garage pass, I've paid over $8k in parking fees. Jeebus.
I am so sad I now know what my Radio Boyfriend and Personal Business News Reporter Kai Ryssdal looks like. Not that he's a hideous troll or anything, I just never ever wanted to know so that he could continue being the perfect Radio Boyfriend in my head. (But SO COOL. Who wouldn't want to do like, just 1 of the Things that he's done?)
Serena Van der Woodsen is, in fact, a perfect example of a terrible adult due to extraordinary sense of self-worth and yet a crippling sense of self-doubt. (j/k Serena VdDubs was not a terrible adult. She was amazing and excellent and far smarter than anyone ever gave her credit for.) (j/k She was pretty terrible.) (Blair, on the other hand? No question, she was the greatest. And the worst ever. All hail Dorota and the ducks of Central Park.) (God I love and miss that show and it taught me things about money and people and motivations that probably aren't true at all and are also probably totally true a little bit. But it made me think about money and privilege and how other people do money in a way that never occurred to me.)
After years of trial, error and now perfection, my writing roster is limited to: Ballpoint - Zebra F-401 .7mm Black Fiberpoint - Papermate Flair Medium Black/Red/Blue Pencil - Pentel Twist-Erase.9mm (mmmmmm, thick mechanical pencil.)
Touching and horrible and all that, but do we really really think these children have no personal agency whatsoever? These are smart, over-educated, privileged humans, even if they are minors. They might be coddled and pushed to toe the family line, but there is no way that they can't and don't express themselves. I cannot fathom that any child with that much social standing and opportunity is somehow lacking in a sense of self or life choice.
@KittyConner And yes, downtown was ... weird in the best possible way this weekend. I love it when it's actually full of people. We literally kept humming the "One of these things is not like the other..." song from Sesame Street to each other.