@steponitvelma Have you witnessed pre-nups be contested and then withstand contestation? I had heard that they're actually very hard to enforce, depending on what state you live in.
@eraserface Gonna ditto stuffisthings on that one. At first, I found the NYT calculator super-intimidating, mostly because of all the variables I didn't know by heart. (Local property tax rates, what?) But then I figured out that most of that was super-easy to google, and I plugged it all in, and got a really useful result. (For me, buying a home like my current one in my current neighborhood would break me even in just a few years; however, I would want a second bedroom if I were to buy, and the break-even date on that versus renting a one-br is 17 years. This was a useful story that has informed my thinking ever since.)
@Nicole Zimmerman@twitter I think there's some pride in being able to say, "this thing that you are surprised to learn I can live without? I've lived my whole life without it. Maybe you can learn to use it less/live mostly without." This can definitely cross the line very easily into smug, especially if one starts stressing all the evil harms that cars do - and how anyone who ever drives is making them all worse. That said, I am a lifelong license-less person, and I am somewhat proud of it. (I wouldn't be opposed to getting one, but here I reference the other folks in this thread talking about the anxiety of learning to drive late in life.) And part of that pride does come from the fact that I see cars as doing more harm than good, on a macro, society-wide level. (This goes beyond the environment; I mean urban design, cost of food, a whole host of economic segregation/discrimination factors, history of use in racial oppression, etc.) So, if a conversation with me helps convince someone it really is possible to drive less/not at all, I do think that is a good thing. Again, I know that this can cross the line to Smug very quickly, and I may even have been guilty of this in the past, so apologies to the universe on that.
Everything I'd suggest comes from a recent re-reading of last year's Hairpin thread (pillaging for this year's idea), and it would feel like obvious plagiarism to pretend any of them were actually mine. I did get something like ten ideas that I love for this year. Now, I should maybe just hurry up and pick one.
@cherrispryte On this point, we appear to be the same person. My usual solution has been to declare that the self-driving cars should only be about 10 years away, and I think I can hold out until then. Of course, I have a "cheat code" in that I have a partner with a car and license (who would prefer that I be eligible to be the DD).
@Critty Pryde@twitter I also want to say thanks for putting yourself out and sharing your story/numbers. I know comments sections about wedding spending will always become pretty critical pretty fast (even with commenters that are all above-average, like the billfold), so even as we debate the WIC and the clothing and the stones and the like, I wanted to make sure you know that we appreciate your courage to be at the center of it all. And I think we all wish you and your family the best!
@werewolfbarmitzvah I still have no good solution for strawberries. Growing up, we grew them in the backyard, and wound up with these ugly, lumpy, tiny, fall-apart-from-looking-at-them berries, and half the time you'd have to cut off half due to slug bites... and they tasted so. very. amazing. that I have never found a commercially-available berry that came remotely close. Farmer's market berries do better than grocery stores, but they still don't measure up to berries that would literally fall apart in the bowl due to being overwhelmed by their own juiciness.
Without a doubt agreed, except for VA's terrible, non-existent legroom. I know that is true of virtually every airline ever, but when your inseam is 38", you are VERY AWARE of the slight differences between airlines.
@ElBlynx We (all of us) don't have as many physical things, because all of our media has become digital. Therefore, the youngs are less into needing a physical object that is "mine". Which is an interesting enough bit of blue-sky speculating, and I think it does apply to at least me. (With some exceptions; my personal computer is NOT YOURS.) What I think it neglects is that there really are two different ways to view a car: from the inside and the outside. From the outside, it is another physical object that occupies city-scarce space. But from the inside, it is a space itself. And I think that "space that is all mine" is a pretty important thing to human sanity (at least in the American psyche). People I know who insist on owning their own car in the city talk most often about this side of it; their stuff stays in the same place, their radio stations are where they left them, etc. ...and I'm just holding out hope for self-driving cars, which really can be sent off to find their own parking spaces, having looked up an available spot in the cloud. :P
@cherrispryte I read it the way Dr. hopbop did, and it totally didn't feel weird (except that it was a very concrete bit of political-ness in what otherwise seemed a fairly apolitical piece). It makes sense because I've had that gut reaction when learning that a new acquaintance has money/came from money; my brain says "oh! more likely to be a Republican than s/he was 30 seconds ago."