On Money Talks: An Advice Column for Women in the Workplace

@fennel PS in case I wasn't clear: in my industry, you do this even when you *do* want to stay on (you just are sure to tell them that).

Posted on October 3, 2014 at 11:23 am 0

On Money Talks: An Advice Column for Women in the Workplace

@ALady Depends on the industry. In mine, this is *exactly* what you do and everyone understands what is happening, your boss included, and there are no hard feelings.

Posted on October 3, 2014 at 11:21 am 2

On When One Person Earns More Than the Other in a Relationship

@therealjaygatsby If she is an RN in an ICU, her hours are probably a little crazy and definitely not 9-5. And it's definitely not an office job! So I didn't read him as scoffing at her per se (thought the tone & attitude are problematic, I agree). What I didn't get was why it is so fulfilling to write ad copy and ghostwrite self-help books -- that doesn't sound better than regular temping or being a secretary or whatever.

Posted on March 31, 2014 at 7:07 pm 0

On Cutting Benefits Because of 'Distressed Babies'

@Stina Not only that, one of the women who was the mother of a "distressed baby" has written an article on Slate, and it turns out that her pregnancy was NOT high-risk -- it was just a normal pregnancy where something went unexpectedly wrong and the baby was born prematurely at a little over 5 months, and under 2 lb body weight, and survived. In other words, it was just one of those rare catastrophic events that could happen to anyone -- precisely what insurance is there for. The deceitful use of "high-risk pregnancy" implies that this woman got pregnant despite knowing there were high risks -- absolutely not true. The CEO's making this comment about "two distressed babies" this also outed her and her husband to all their coworkers as the people whose medical bills caused AOL's change in insurance, she explains in the article, since people in the office obviously knew when the mother had a life-threatening hospital emergency and gave birth to a 5-month fetus, and the father had to rush out of work to care for her, their older child, and the baby. Just UGH all round. Personally, I think Tim Armstrong has shown such poor judgment as CEO that he should be fired.

Posted on February 9, 2014 at 3:02 pm 0

On Friday Estimate

Friday night: Skyping with an overseas friend, dinner at home: $0 Saturday: will try to write, probably in a cafe, which means buying lunch and a coffee: $11 Sunday: unknown excursion with my husband that will probably involve brunch ($30) and maybe a movie matinee ($16) big grocery run: $120/2-$60 =$127? hm, seems low

Posted on January 17, 2014 at 5:16 pm 0

On French Café Enacts Rudeness Tax

my cobbler here in the US seems to do this! He knocked $10 off the quoted price when I exclaimed spontaneously at what a good job he'd done with my shoes, and knocked off another dollar when I didn't complain about paying cash because he didn't want to accept credit -- and told me to go buy a coffee and have a good Christmas! i wonder if this sort of thing doesn't happen more often than we think, in general -- maybe not so much discounts, but: the rudeness surcharge.

Posted on December 17, 2013 at 5:24 pm 0

On An Unreasonably Frugal Person Tries to Figure It Out

@clo yes, we don't know what his situation is. But if he's getting his Ph.D. in experimental music, he's already getting paid for what he does, because (at least if he goes to a good school -- and I don't think the bad programs usually have Ph.D. programs for this) those schools provide stipends and full tuition. Then, after the Ph.D., the experimental classical composers I've known have already had residencies and commissions. It's not a stable income that is exactly the same from month to month, sure, but it's not like being in a random rock band without a label, guys! These are all terrible analogies to make about somebody! "unambitious slackers" -- you've got to be kidding me! He's got a lot of advanced, rare skills and there are people willing to pay for them at this level. He'll make some money -- he just won't make financier-level money. But there's nothing wrong with having goals in life that are more important to you than earning the most money you are capable of earning.

Posted on November 23, 2013 at 10:51 am 1

On The Acquirer of "Down-market" Books

That Tucker Max book is pretty close to the line already. I once fell asleep on an airplane between New York and Dubai, and someone left a Tucker Max book about negging and picking up women *propped *on *my *sleeping *body * for me to find when I woke up. (I guess it's a slutty thing to do to fall asleep on two seats of an airplane as a young blonde woman not fully head-scarved or escorted by a man?) It was incredibly creepy. The stewardess and I shared a look of grossed-outness when I gave it to her (and told her the story so that she'd keep an eye out for me).

Posted on October 22, 2013 at 3:57 pm 0

On My Cool Walk Home

@notpollyanna oy vey! I think it's more -- after dark, try to keep people in sight/in front of you, not behind you where they could hit you over the head, and try to project decisiveness and confidence in the way you walk. Also, look into people's eyes when you need to learn more about them, and the emotion you feel coming from them when you do that will give you a clue as to their intentions. & that way not only do you seem less like a potential target to the predatory people out there, you are also more likely to have occasional good experiences like the one Logan had here!

Posted on October 22, 2013 at 3:14 pm 2

On Interview With a Woman Who Wants to Pay for Her Boyfriend But He Won't Let Her

@applesbanana haha, some of us could spend more on cooking with amazing groceries and ingredients than on going out to some crummy restaurant. But I know what you mean. They don't necessarily have to disclose everything about their finances. Just come up with an open and transparent budget that covers the expenses that they share (as well as the existence of an emergency fund, for the emergencies that might cause one to want to borrow from the other). Lots of couples have "private" funds of money that they do whatever they want with, without running it by the other partner, just to preserve some autonomy -- and know that they each have those private discretionary funds, and make it part of the overall budget maybe, but don't share the details.

Posted on September 20, 2013 at 5:25 pm 0