And I will say that I am also friends with plenty of ladies who are not messes at all
How ... generous of you.
I spend it in a vacuum
I read this as "I spend it on a vacuum" and was like "HELL YEAH THESE ARE MY PEOPLE RIGHT HERE!!!" and then I was all "Oh."
@Logan Sachon SEND UP THE BLEACH SIGNAL
Bluing and/or OxiClean for the yellowed areas.