On In Conversation With My Friend, a Prostitute

I feel that certain elements of our society, namely, highly educated folks like to either glamorize sex-work, as way of making themselves seem more "edgy" or forward thinking. After all the "I'm a highly educated woman who worked very briefly as a sex worker, and now I'm an academic in the field of sex and write essays, books, etc" is a well established cliche right now. Thing is that's not the reality for most sex workers. Very few are working as escorts while working on their creative writing degrees. Very few are educated women who just "prefer" sex work. Most are just poor women who have no other choice, and would undoubtedly rather not be sex workers. After all don't most of the voices in this field want to quit eventually, the woman in the article even disparages the "Career Hoes". So while this was a well written insight into one woman's choices and rationalizations, let's not pretend this is the norm. Go to any minimum security prison and the cells are FULL of women who have turned to sex work at some point to pay the bills or buy drugs. That's probably more the norm than this article. In fact one of the Ivy League "I experimented in sex work and now I write about sex" folks I mentioned earlier addressed some of these points rather nicely - basically calling herself out: http://blog.audaciaray.com/post/20228032642/why-the-sex-positive-movement-is-bad-for-sex-workers

Posted on August 17, 2012 at 9:18 pm 0

On How Cord Jefferson Does Money

@mishaps I agree 100% all your raises are basically % based, so you want to start out as high as possible, not let someone underpay you as you'll always be underpaid vs. your peers. In fact some companies even have something called "pay leveling" where they bring up people who were screwed like that up to the level of their peers. I should say "used to" I doubt anyone does that anymore.

Posted on August 14, 2012 at 7:02 pm 0

On How Cord Jefferson Does Money

The unemployment paperwork takes like 2-3 minutes, in fact it takes about as much time as it takes to oh, go to a web site, read an article and comment on it. I find it weird when people refuse to go through the 3-5 minute hassle, with something that would help them. The car and other material items things can be polarizing, as I think people tend to over-generalize and over-simplify both. I recall having a date with a woman who gave me a dirty look and said: "You have car? Wow, I'm dating someone with a car, what will my friends...." Seriously. To be sure I "could" take the bus to work and my 15-20 minute commute would be an hour, easy, if not worse. Running errands would be a bear too. Plus I like taking weekend road trips. Now do I have a nice car I really enjoy driving? Sure, but there is a ton of daily utility you get from it. Car or no car should just be your choice, it's not some major political statement. Especially when you're young and childless. Another discussion I had at a wedding where a friend of the bride was worried that the newlyweds would join "car culture" after they moved. The bride's mother just smiled and said: "they want to have a lot of kids" To me the car thing is more of a statement when you manage to grocery shop, pick-up and drop-off, take them to activities, etc, all without a car. People have these conversations like life is static.

Posted on August 14, 2012 at 5:53 pm 0