"And when I'm rollin in the Benjamins, I will throw you and your dog a bone!"
No hairy spider for ANY amount of minutes will lessen THAT fear.
That photo of Seinfeld is so fitting, as the first thing that popped in my head when I read this was "You ever get something on your clothes and scratch it off with your fingernail? THAT'S drycleaning."
On Gain Professional Success by Pretending to Be British (But Don't Actually Be British, Because: Green Card)
"Bridget, we fucked up utterly!" Possibly favorite line.
@Lauren I know Shakespeare's a dead white guy, but he knows his shit, so we can overlook that.
@MilesofMountains I loved mine too! I felt pretty badass with it. I like how long hair lets me have a different style any day if I want one, but boy did I spend a lot less time worrying about my hair when it was short. Pixie cut, I miss youuuu.
6. Costco-sized boxes of cereal.
@Megano! Red Delicious are awful! So bland!! Spartan apples 4eva.
Ughh, the guy who lives across and one door down from me gets drunk & yells to himself in Russian (or something). Or he watches movies at the LOUDEST possible volume. Neighbours!
"Orange you going to give me a break by zipping this through the credit card machine? Come on. You can do it. Zip zip."