I'm so looking forward to this series! I'm a fairly established lawyer and emerging/newbie circus artist, and very much trying to figure out how to balance money and creative fulfillment (I'm also starting to put on shows and events, and want to help direct money to other artists, although it always feels like a bit of a turnip/blood situation). I really, really like this statement: "If you are doing creative work for someone else, that person should pay you. If you are taking a loss on a project you have chosen to create, well, that’s on you."
Yeah. I've made a point to date only feminist, progressive men, and... their careers have still ended up dominating relationships. I don't think they even wanted it to be that way, but when it came down to it, it would have felt like an unreasonable sacrifice for them to set aside work for a relationship. I remember once when I was finishing law school and I had two friends who were engaged, and the guy was unemployed and patching together work and struggling because he had moved to the place where the woman had a job offer. My boyfriend and I were both job searching and negotiating where to live, and he said, "I don't want to be [name of unemployed male friend] in six months." Record scratch. Now those friends are married with a lovely little girl, and they moved this year so he could pursue a great job offer. And that boyfriend of mine is history - and it's a shame, because he's wonderful, and it sucks to give up on a wonderful person because they're too indoctrinated by gender roles, in a pretty subtle way, to let you form a life together.
Agreed on the misery that would befall my hypothetical husband if he "bought me" (us, in reality, right? or are they actually writing their wife's name and only hers on the deed? why are they even talking about it as if it's a gift, if not?) But if, like a total stranger, or even a friend wanted to buy me a house for funsies, I wouldn't complain, because that's probably the only way I'll ever own a house :/
@cryptolect Yeah, we have basically opposite schedules, so if it happens again I'll just politely talk to her about moving the heavier spanking sessions to daylight hours. Luckily, I got over my passive aggressiveness many years ago :) Reading some of these stories now is making me feel better! At least the loud sex-haver is super clean.
Last night I woke up at 2 am to very loud sex from my roommate, who apparently is taking up S&M with her new boyfriend... with her bedroom door open. I'm living with roommates for the first time in like four years (being more financially responsible!) and it's mostly fine but at moments like that, ugh. But probably my worst roommate experience was when I was living with my boyfriend and two other girls in a 2 BR apt (tiny, damp, cold hovel, no common space) and one of them had an emotional breakdown, refused to allow my cat in the apartment anymore, and informed me that she "was having a really hard time and just felt like she needed to be in control of the house." I'm sure it was much harder to be her during that time, but being her roommate also really sucked.
Ahhh this is hitting home: . In fact, I had made the mistake of conflating useful fiscal prudence with daily unhappiness. When you’re used to indulging yourself, it’s just so easy to imagine that being responsible will be miserable, and so to make yourself miserable instead of actually facing up to what it would take to be responsible—both with your money, and with your self and your headspace.
I love that a major component of your uniform is being able to wear a t-shirt with no bra to work. Yeahhh comfort!
Another very, very good reason to buy organic is to protect the workers who are wading through fields of vegetables doused in chemicals to harvest our dinners. A lot of them are teenagers, and a lot of them will be diagnosed with cancer (definitely tied to the pesticides), and a lot of them will not have health insurance to pay for treatment. It's easy to get caught up in what eating decisions are right for us and our families, and forget about everyone else up and down the chain supporting our eating habits. (this isn't meant as a criticism of any part of this, just an additional part of the conversation). xo
"getting a puffy tail" is my new favorite expression, that is GENIUS!
Ok! This month I write from the last hour of my last day at my lawyer job (for now), and on Monday I start circus school! For that goal, I wanted $3000 in the bank, which I got! (well, minus some funds I already spent for circus tuition). For my second goal, paying down my bar loan, in April it was $10,178, interest 9%, and it is now... DRUMROLL... $9,910, officially below the original balance! Four years later. (¬_¬) But whatever, I'm paying attention to it now and it's slowly melting under my fiery gaze and in the meantime excuse me while I go hang from things for a couple months WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!