@Nicole B. Weaver Yeah - I know it's hard, I actually just bailed on a trip to Europe because my job is ending this summer, I'm hoping to strike out on my own, and I felt I needed the money to make sure I can afford a place to live when boyfriendpants comes to visit me. I think at the end of the day we're all spending money on the things that are important to us, so acknowledging wholeheartedly that seeing one another regularly is important and then finding joy in the bus ticket rather than pain could make a difference in your stress level (of course, one problem with buddhist/yogic outlooks is they don't make very exciting articles - "I Spend Money On Bus Tickets and Find Joy In Every Moment - the end.") I've also sabotaged past relationships by putting a lot of pressure on The Magic Day When We Are Together Forever, and my current one is far, far more relaxed, which makes it feel like we're on an exciting trip together and the destination doesn't matter so much. In response to Sally885 - I think video chatting and technology make it a lot easier to maintain LDR's, and I also think the fact that women don't just drop their careers and education when a serious relationship is on the table results in a lot more of them too. And for a lot of us, our location and jobs aren't just "a job," they're important parts of our happiness and satisfaction. Oh, and don't even get me started on immigration laws, ha! Anyway, high five to all the long distance billfold lovers! Pro tip: download the Couple app, it has the best cat stickers and therefore facilitates the best communication.
I've spent ohhh - six out of the last nine years in long distance relationships, and my current one is transcontinental. My boyfriend is super generous about buying an international plane ticket about once a month (neither of us have a lot of money but he tours the rest of the time, so he thinks of it as a substitute for paying rent). I know everyone's situation is different, but it makes me a little sad that you could consider not seeing someone who you're "madly in love with" for a weekend because there's a hundred bucks on the line. If it has to be a calculation, maybe think of all the bad-first-date checks you're not splitting, or all the breakup-stress-spending you're avoiding. Also, you are not losing 48 hours of work! That's your weekend! What were you planning on doing, popping adderall and staying up for three nights cranking out articles at home? Iy! If we all walked around calculating the time we spend with loved ones by a measure of how much work we're missing out on it'd be a sad sad world.
On In Which I Answer a Question About Marriage and Finances That 'Call Your Girlfriend' Asked Us in October
Oooh such good advice here! This is especially insightful: I think if this letter writer wants to have a discussion about how her cooking the lasagna enables her boyfriend to go earn that freelance income that he believes is only “his,” she has to have the discussion, and it probably has to come separately from the discussion of marriage. It may teach her a lot about both herself and the boyfriend. He may say something like “I never asked you to cook lasagna, I can just make myself a bowl of cereal when I get home.” Or he may say “yeah, I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
Can I ask how much your CPA costs and how you pay (hourly, task, other)? I contacted a CPA based on a friend's reference to ask about incorporation options for a small business in SC, and he wants a 30-45 minute consultation session for $150 per hour. This seems very reasonable if I walk out with a plan and the forms for incorporation, and a big waste of money if it's just the same info I would get on google. ??? How does one decide to pay for advice before one knows whether it'll be good??
This reminds me of that refrigerator magnet that's like, "no you can't buy me a drink, but I'll take the six bucks." It seems like a more explicit trade on hotness [bc, what other value can you demonstrate of yourself on tinder] for services, but, I dunno, that's part of dating anyway, sooo maybe it was just a matter of time!
This is so great! I don't qualify, but - ummm how do I find a CPA who does cool stuff like this, and then give them my business? I'm getting to the point where I need one and am a little overwhelmed by how to choose one (especially given those two posts here recently). "Volunteers to help people who can't afford their services" would be a convincing qualification.
I'm a recent konmari convert, not because I want my house to be perfectly tidy (I don't care about the aesthetic too much of having some mess, which is good because I'm naturally messy) but because I want it to serve me. I.e. I don't want to feel guilty about that craft project that's been gathering dust for four years, or have to rip my house apart looking for that letter about my bar fees because where I put "important papers" changes every few weeks, or be late for work on an important day because I had to paw through all my suits that don't really fit but that I'm keeping for when they do looking for something that's wearable. I was surprised at how emotional (and emotionally rewarding) going through her process has been. But, if you don't have a struggle with your house and possessions, you probably don't need it! (Although, one of her major themes is being grateful to and taking care of our belongings, which are practices we could all cultivate more, probably).
PS I have a secret heart wish that on my trip I will bump into Mike Dang and he will smile sweetly at me and I'll gently lean against him and absorb his financial wisdom. NYC magic.
Yes! I live in a place where I teach and perform occasionally as a circus artist, and I travel to nyc pretty regularly to get advanced training (and visit friends and get cheap massages and gel manicures and blowouts and expensive brunches, apparently!). On this trip I get to do an acro partner class with my boyfriend (who lives in france, so we don't get to do partner work as much as I'd like), so I'm especially excited.
I don't normally do the checkin, but I'm headed to nyc for three days and I have an unfortunate habit of losing track of spending when I go there and being like "¯\_(ツ)_/¯ new york is so expensive!" Um ok, so to be a little more realistic: Two breakfast/coffee dates, $25. One dinner date, $35, one brunch, $25, one massage, $60, maybe nails, $30, one networking dinner, $30, and a sewing lesson and four circus lessons, already paid for (but, like $300, in total, agh). Flowers or some such for friends hosting me, $40, $25 if I go out to a party, $20 to top off metro card/split cab to airport. So, $235-290 plus any incidental costs and already-spent costs. Hmm! (stuffs bag of walnuts and chocolate into tote bag, thanks god my friend convinced me to give up alcohol for lent with her). Please wish me luck keeping it under $300, which is my bank account's opinion of how much I can reasonably spend!