@Meaghano OMG, pick a place with family (that you like) nearby. It's been a lifesaver in this first year of parenthood for me. And I can't even begin to imagine having a second child without family around to help out. It's obviously doable — people do it! — but it would mean so, so much more money in babysitters...
@RachelW I came down here to suggest this, too. Ice cream! Mountains! (Though, admittedly, not the big west coast ones.) It's own kind of coast. The winters are long, but you can sip cocoa and cross-country ski.
This is fascinating to me. I made a very conscious decision to have a baby on the young side — 27. There were a few reasons at play. I had major baby rabies, my husband is five years older than me, we were at a good place in our lives and careers. But I also had this deep, deep fear that I might not be able to have a baby, or that it might take years of trying to have one. My thought was, if all goes well, I'll have a baby on the early side. And if it doesn't, I've got years of time to try. Every now and then I have a twinge of nostalgia for my old life. Just last night I had to miss a girls' night (none of my other close friends have babies) because my now-toddler had a meltdown before bedtime, my husband was running late, and I ended up rocking a miserable little baby until he fell asleep. But this rings so true to me: "I want the right life to be the choices I made and the path I took, not the parallel life I could’ve lived."
@meatcute Also, I'll add my acupuncturist (who I love) accurately predicted the sex of my baby based on my pulses. Crack science? Lucky guess? ANCIENT CHINESE WISDOM? Who knows?
Go for it! I had acupuncture periodically throughout my pregnancy, and went twice or three times before the end. Also did the whole primrose oil thing. Sex was not so much happening because the 8 1/2 pound baby I was carrying did not make for comfortable sex, sadly. Hang in there through these last few days! I ended up being three days late — not bad in the big scheme of things, with a first pregnancy. I don't know if acupuncture helped, but it certainly didn't hurt, and I was amazed at how active my little guy got during the sessions; clearly something was going on. At the very least it can be a really lovely way to relax and chill out for an hour during your last days of pregnancy.
@meatcute "If she wants to pursue a career I am all for that. She should believe that if we can afford for her not to work, then daycare is out of the question for our children. Dishonesty is a major pet peeve of mine. If you tell lies, you're wasting your time here. Obviously she should like most of the things I like because we would be doing them together for the next sixty years." I'm hoping this is some kind of elaborate performance art. The headshots certainly LOOK like stock photos...
Oh, how I wish I hadn't fallen down the 10k4awife.com rabbit hole!
@lolapie Amen, sister. I loved my midwives. LOVED THEM. In fact, I was sort of sad when it was all said and done that, after my six-week follow up, I didn't have an excuse to go visit them every few weeks anymore.
I love Budget Bytes — and have cooked some seriously tasty meals inspired by her recipes — but I have to confess: I can't bring myself to buy budget groceries. Buying dried beans and cooking them at home? Sure. Baking my own bread? Absolutely! Popping popcorn on the stovetop instead of buying pricy potato chips for snacktime? Yum. But I'm a food snob. I don't know if I should try to change that or not... but buying organic veggies and locally, humanely-raised meat is really important to me. I'm curious if anyone has tips about being budget savvy while also indulging in some of those areas. Frankly, I often find myself thinking that food SHOULDN'T be cheap; we spend less of our incomes on food than at any other time in American history, and the costs get shifted to other places. Ugh, I sound obnoxious, I know...
@Meaghano Definitely go for a diaper service if you have access and can swing it! (We live in the sticks, in the grayest state in the country; so old people + low population density means, no diaper service here. I was bummed.) Another option that a few friends of mine have done is disposables for the first few months — while baby is growing like a weed — and then settling in to cloth three or four months later. There are some great services out there where you can essentially "rent" a package of cloth diapers (I think Jillian's Drawers had one, but I bet you could find something local in NYC) to see which kinds you prefer. I highly, highly recommend prefolds and covers, though, just for ease of care, cheapness, etc.