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On I Don't Feel Entitled, I Feel Guilty
You haven't made a bad choice, you're in a shitty economy. This isn't guilt, it's shame. Like Brene Brown's definition, [ Guilt says: “you’ve done something bad” or “you’ve made a bad choice.” Shame says: “you are bad.” There is a big difference between “you made a mistake” and “you are a mistake.” ]
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On My Last Hundred Bucks: Drug Store Spending Doesn't Count Basically
@chic noir richard simmons wears DK cashmere. i know because he told me.
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On Money and Depression: Telling Your Boss, Or Not
@laluchita It does make sense, and I am not speaking about you, but: depressed people often walk around with the ankle broken indefinitely, rather than having it set, and to some degree no one can help us with that but ourselves. And sometimes we have to choose to honor boundaries that we don't WANT to honor--to give up social shit first.
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On Money and Depression: Telling Your Boss, Or Not
Like, you can be financially stable and part of some miraculous supportive family that will pay for you to go to therapy and yoga all the time or something. Which is a small number of people. Or you can use all of your energy fighting to stay afloat. But when you’re using all of your energy fighting to stay afloat, you get tired, and eventually you just want to give up. This is a false distinction. I think we often want to fantasize that the people who manage their depression most aggressively and responsibly have resources we don’t have, but I’m here to tell you, as one of the people who has sometimes managed to, that it is not true. I think one of the real difficulties of depression--and I have a pretty intense set of bona fides on this subject--is that it does, in some ways, require to you do the seemingly impossible, which is to take radical responsibility for your illness, for the ways you allow it to work in your life, and for the ways in which you retain the capacity to make choices that it is easy to pretend you "can't" make. No one wants to do that in their lives, least of all depressed people, but it is a major impediment to wellness to fail to do so. Thinking about my responsibility for my "mood-dependent behavior is one of the most painful things I do every day. None of that is to say that we shouldn't be able to find more support, or that you shouldn't be able to talk about it at work. But there's more to it than the culture.
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On Betting on Love, Leveling Up and Leaving Atlanta (Part II)
@minijen for christ's sake, when will the billfold stop being the Official Internet Home of "Other People's Choices Are Different Than Mine"?
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On Being Unemployed Is Doing Marvelous Things for My Anxiety
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On Being Unemployed Is Doing Marvelous Things for My Anxiety
Maybe pick up a used copy of the Feeling Good Handbook or When Things Fall Apart. You can feel all the frustration you have about unemployment without deciding that it means society thinks you're worthless.
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On It Turns Out My Work Ethic Is Pretty Flexible
@langedangereux some of your volunteers probably feel like the writer does. maybe consider that.
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On It Turns Out My Work Ethic Is Pretty Flexible
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On I Joined the Peace Corps to Keep From Becoming an Asshole (It Worked, Mostly)
@kurrentpcv2 what the FUCK