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On 10 Reasons Why I’d Rather Have You Over for Dinner Than Go Out to a Restaurant
Ehhhhh, I don't know, this whole thing rubbed me the wrong way. Who needs multiple reasons, much less ten, to dine at home with friends? Is there not a place for both dining out and dining in? And I'm really sick of it being a given that cooking at home is 100%, all the time, guaranteed to be the cheaper option. That's great you can scrap together some quiche or chile on the cheap, but why are you comparing it to a dinner out which is probably not to a place specializing in quiche or chili. I invite friends over for casual dinner, which is more likely to be cheaper than the restaurant option, but if I'm putting together something nicer, I end up paying several times more. The protein for more than a couple of people is enough to push the needle over to the other side all on its own. Realized recently that the rotisserie chicken at my grocery is cheaper than buying the raw chicken, and the irony that those on food stamps (and there are many who shop at this market who are), they could not buy that pre-cooked chicken, despite it being the more affordable option. Coupled with this article, now thinking about our contradictory viewpoints on cooking at home. We're willing to discuss the problems of "real food" being more expensive than processed food, and how that negatively impacts those people who make the least in society, but then you get to talk about people who are perhaps not wealthy, but no impoverished, and there's this whole "it's so much cheaper to cook at home, you crazy!!!" when guess what, the prices are the same! Produce, meat, dairy - whole food components for real cooking - it's not cheap! Real food cost real money, and I think there's a lot of ignoring how you can get a very nice meal with expensive ingredients at a restaurant for a rather reasonable amount of money, if you were to be honest and reflect on the ingredients alone, not to mention the kitchen staff and the lack of any effort on your part. Dining out every meal, or even a majority of your meals, is not the economically efficient way to live, but it's not the big ripoff everyone makes it out to be. Especially considering the many different options in dining out these days, a lot of competition, a lot of opportunity to get good food at good prices, and it need not be demonized by those who are content to eat chili all week because it cost you $1 per serving. Don't even get me started on the cat.....
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On A Conversation With a Single Mom Living on $40,000 a Year
@tuntastic She can't really bank of child support, especially considering the upper hand her ex has had in all the divorce situations, what's to stop him from halting payments on a whim, or even just being a dick and paying late? Getting back child support is just as big a legal headache and can take months if not years, I know so many single mothers who don't even pursue it because it nets out to a loss. She has control over her salary as much as any other person, but she has no control of whether that child support comes in.
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On The Y Generation's "Culture of Transparency"
I have a unique situation as a 100% commissioned salesperson. With our pay resulting directly from our sales, and our sales being the numero uno discussed priority, it lends itself to not only "knowing" what everyone makes, but we're doing so on a weekly and monthly basis, so I know if someone's sales, therefore pay, is slipping, or if they have hit a goldmine lately. We talked amongst each other about how much various accounts are doing, essentially what they're worth, and it lends itself to other types of conversations - i.e., when trying to decide how much I'm willing to do for a client on xyz project, I talk with a colleague "How much would they need to be doing in order for you to xyz?" which then leads to more conversations about how Client A is a $100,000 client, so I do this, but Client B is a $250,000 client, so I do more, etc There's also so much transparency on bonus structure because all of the sales incentives are updated and sent out with every salesperson on the list - often we have incentives with house goals and it's imperative that we know where the whole force stands, but other times it doesn't matter at all and we just have the information. THAT SAID, we have NO idea what our managers and VPs make, so there is a definite power struggle there. We also don't know what their bonus structure is, so we all have wild theories. Certain managers involved with purchasing are terrible at keeping inventory in stock, for example, even though it's their job! And one of them in particular is terrible about trying to coerce or manipulate salespeople into moving particular product out at the end of the month, leading us all to believe that they get bonuses based on moving product out of the warehouse (and not refilling it until they get their bonus). But that leads us to struggle with them, especially the worst offender, because that's our main paycheck - if we don't have that product to sell, we don't get that commission. So while I could talk all day about the sharp divide it creates between the salespeople, who actually bring in every single dollar, and upper management, I think it's incredibly weird how I could always run down the line and tell you the particulars of most coworker's salary, but we have not one inkling about upper mgmt. And YET, most of these managers came form our ranks, so at one point they were all chatty about their routes and accounts, and then they get promote and their lips are sealed! Needless to say, it makes all of us uncomfortable, kind of like a betrayal of trust, and it makes us believe they're paying them quite handsomely, and then makes us wonder if they're skimping on our end to fill the coffers at the other. So, to conclude, it's quite nice to know what my coworkers make, and to see how we're doled out new accounts or route changes, and to be able to see how much they're working, how they might differ from other people and how it is reflected in their salary. But since it's not company wide, it creates all these other conflicts and morale is shit because of the intense secrecy at upper tiers.
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On WWYD: The Stranded Car
This just happened to me TODAY! only a slight variation. I was at one of those highway pull-offs on the Mass Pike, pumping gas, and basically standing toward the highway pretending to not be cold, when a youngish girl (anywhere from 16-26) came up behind me and, politely, gave me a little spiel. She was sorry to bother me, but her and her friends (pointed toward parked cars not at the pump) were wondering if I could help them out, they're tank is "more than empty" or "beyond empty," something like that. I made a quick judgment, she looked slightly strung out, skinny in a way that suggests drug use rather than (strictly) hard times, and even though she was polite I just apologized and gave the no cash reason (I think I might have had two dollars, tops). After she left I thought about paying for the gas directly, as others have mentioned they might do, but there just wasn't enough people out for me to feel safe enough about it. She gave me the heebie-jeebies enough as it was that I was worried to go inside and use the restroom (I work on the road, I know it's gross, but sometimes you gotta go!) because I thought she might follow me. She seemed nice enough, and perhaps wasn't even lying, but my safety radar went off, and it's not even that sensitive. And it immediately stank of the mother on the subway who just needs $17 dollars for the bus fare to see her sick babies in New Hampshire scam.....
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On On Leaving Too Much
@stuffisthings Agreed in many ways BUT let's not forget that this is lunch. These are the shifts that service industry folks loathe, check totals are lower, very little alcohol, despite tables turning more quickly there just aren't as many people out lunching as there are at dinnertime. This person may be lucky enough to get a weekend night shift that could pull in a full bills, but it's likely that this lunch, tips included, won't even out to min. wage, and it ultimately lowers your total draw even if you do have some sweet shifts. I always think that these people took the shitty shift so I could enjoy a lunch out, and hope but not assume that they get some better shifts later in the week. give and take...
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On On Leaving Too Much
@cuminafterall exactly! the writer purposely went for a "lunch special," which is the pre-internet way of having a groupon or whatever. would she apply the same logic to happy hour? two for one beers at $4, all you can eat wings for $5 ($12 worth of food) - are you going to tip on the $9 actual cost or the $20 of normal cost? and people wonder why they get bad service sometimes...
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On What Was Your Big Mistake?
Pretending that I could afford a personal trainer, and then continuing with that trainer for way too long because I really liked it. Picture it: late 2009, 25 pounds overweight after two years of grad school followed by a year and a half of unemployment/underemployment, I get a decently salaried position and feel like a rich bitch in charge. Several of my colleagues all have trainers and their stories are great (not to mention they look good) and my old run around the block a few times just isn't shedding the pounds like it used to. I'm thinking "we all make about the same money, so if they can afford, I should be able to afford it." So I sign up for a gym, with a good deal, and take the free training session "just to check it out." They paired me with the best guy, and I loved it! It started slow, buying the smallest package, promising myself I'd just use it every other week to get fresh ideas and have a little motivation. Wrong. I start going every week, then twice a week, and then I buy the bigger package, and then I buy the even bigger package. A year goes by, and I've got some debt, and I crunch the numbers on what I make monthly versus what I'm spending, and it's shocking. And YET! I keep going. I keep buying. As the second year approached, I had to quit, and I cried on my trainer that I couldn't afford him, and if I could I wouldn't be dumping him, and for him to pray I find a rich husband who'll let me be one of those wives who spend their days at the gym (jk, mostly, I love working I just need more money for personal trainers!). All in all, I think I spent 10k on two years of gym time. That includes the gym fee, which of course went up after my fabulous two month special price. I *was* in excellent shape, lost those extra pounds, looked good, felt good. But I was so broke once I quit that I actually had to start working more, my job was awful, I started stress eating and barely exercising, and now I'm fatter than I'm ever been.
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On Who Needs Grocery Stores? (I Do)
But by shopping at so many different locations, and those shops mentioned are not exactly the same kind of "one stop shopping" stores they talk about, aren't you proving their point, Mike? I know it's a bit different in NYC, but that's the whole point. People "used to" (back in the, what 1950s?) go to one, maybe two stores, that was party of the loyalty) but you're choosing to go to at least four on a regular basis? Having worked tangentially for a major grocery store company (who is also dealing with chapter 11 right now, so three guesses....) i'm not so sure that these major stores are going to survive, and i don't think that it's a bad thing. I'm fascinated (and, personally, forever irritated) at the way Trader Joes works - they keep the lowest amount of inventory possible so as to keep their overhead low and to avoid loss through waste/expiration. Same template is being used at Starbucks, the way they deliver daily just the right amount, and on some level not enough, so that they don't have those prepared foods going to waste. These stores and companies are figuring out new ways to deal with inventory to maximize their profits and minimize their loss, and the consumer is also changing, shopping around a bit more, not even necessarily because of price but also because convenience and lack of loyalty and all that. Not to mention competition from Walmart, Target, etc. I don't think these grocery stores will go away completely, but they are already fading and changing, and some are adapting, and others are dying....
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On What You'd Lose in a Fire
I actually just had a very vivid dream, not about a fire but a tornado that brought a big building down on my building. All the people in my apartment (for some reason I was having a tornado party?) didn't care at all, and I just kept thinking the place was going to collapse and I had to leave. So I grabbed my laptop and took the boxes that hold my expensive wine (I work in booze, not that it excuses my choices here although I wish it did) and I methodically packed it in my trunk and drove away from the tornado scene. And now I don't know how I feel about my subconscious revealing my internet and alcohol dependent true self...
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On I Want to Live Alone
Boston resident here, 35% of my take home goes to my South End rent (and I have a roommate, sheesh), and it's a mixed bag. On one hand, I'm watching friends not only get priced out of the city, but not being able to get an apartment, full stop. Friends who are buying are being outbid, friends who are trying to rent are being outbid, OR more to your situation, my close female friend was passed over because she was a single female - the landlord felt her more of a risk of defaulting, despite excellent financials and having more than enough money, than renting to two people. Other friend is being evicted at end of lease because they're turning what was a 100% rental building into condos for purchase, and then I saw that new building in Chinatown (CHINATOWN) starts at $2100....and they didn't list for what size so I'm just going to assume STUDIO. Point is, I'm locked into my building which isn't cheap, but isn't as bad as what I see and hear, and I fear losing it, so I understand why you'd want to stay.... On the other hand, I've been in this unit going on four years and it's been tough (granted, a lot of challenge there at the beginning). It's a constant weighing of which item/event/ammenity is worth more or needed more than the other. Gym v. new clothes, dining out or weekend getaways, it never ends. I haven't saved as much as I'd like, and I feel like I just keep my head above water. My pay is steadily increasing, and it's making me feel more comfortable, but it's not happening as fast as I'd really like. Thinking about buying? No way you'll be able to save without some serious cutting out. The thing that makes me take pause is the most, though, is your list of fixed expenses. I'm truly lucky in that I don't have student loans, I cut out cable long ago because I think cable companies are the devil, and while I do have a car, it's long been paid for and insurance is really not that expensive. I would really like to go to therapy and work a few things out but, again, I don't feel like I can afford it. When my BCP was $75/month, and I seriously need that shit for a host of reasons, I would still have fantasies of cutting it out even though it's really not an option. Living with a roommate is not ideal at 30, but I might be erring on that option for you, knowing the details we know and applying what I've learned in the last four years. You want some cool restaurant industry people who have off hours for a roomie, thus perhaps allowing you the illusion of living alone, let me know, I'll hook you up ;-)