On In Defense of CT (Again) & Rejecting Traditional Geographic Measures of Success

love this, thank you

Posted on February 6, 2015 at 7:38 pm 0

On Our Debt to Our Parents

I've always been puzzled by feeling such debt toward parents simply for having you, the same way I am not swayed by abortion arguments about potentially aborting future presidents and cancer curing geniuses. We did not ask to be born, and as infants and tiny humans we are unable to provide for ourselves. For at least half of our adolescent lives we are fully dependent, not because we refuse to do our part or are greedy little bastards, simply because that is the hand nature has dealt us. And if we are to count 18 or more years of a parent taking care of us under the guise of it being "out of the goodness of their hearts" and as a debt to be repaid, then how could we ever repay such a debt?! It would be immeasurable and impossible. And then what to say of the parent who, though they fed and clothed and put into the best schools and ballet classes and provided home cooked meals for their family, was emotionally manipulative, abusive in any way, cold and uncaring, or constantly let said child know that this support comes at a price to be paid in the future - are we to say this parent "deserves" the support of the child because they made the decision to become a parent? Some people often say that being a parent is a rather thankless position, and I'd agree, but I'd also argue that that is the position you are signing up for. It would be like a volunteer signing up to volunteer then getting upset that they aren't getting paid after the fact. It's not romantic or sentimental, but it's closer to the truth. I guess I think about the sway that less than good and some terrible parents still have over my friends' lives, even as they are independent adults taking nothing from these people and haven't in five, ten, fifteen+ years. Some of these friends even supported the family before government recognized adulthood, and continue to support bad parents out of guilt and shame. While my parents surely gave me a leg up in this world and provided for me well beyond the necessities, perhaps the way they have privileged me, the best gift they have given me, is the freedom of this guilt; they see repayment of their upbringing as me being independent, intelligent, and happy. Thankfully that's all they ask of me.

Posted on January 29, 2015 at 5:30 pm 0

On Fixing the Hiring Process

@erinep I was definitely channeling AAM on how I handled this! I looked through some old posts, but at this point I think I've internalized her and was able to reach out to the potential new boss in a professional, diplomatic, and ultimately successful way.

Posted on January 28, 2015 at 2:50 pm 0

On Fixing the Hiring Process

@inthepost I actually reached out to the future potential boss, who I've known for a few years as a casual professional acquaintance, and delicately explained that it didn't go so hot and I'd love to chat with him/get his advice on how to proceed. Over the course of the conversation, it was clear that it is known that this guy acts this way, that it's merely a courtesy to consult his opinion but not the make it or break it, and even though I was only gently hinting at this, he definitely picked up that it was giving me doubts and was very relieved when I told him it wasn't a deal breaker for me so long as this guy isn't someone I report to. In reality, this not so fun guy won't be a part of my world, and the potential boss confirmed this, and even said that he hired someone the other guy passed on several months ago and said new employee is thriving. Just had my second conversation with the sales bro, gave him a little of what he wanted, addressed a few things, and ultimately it went well. Fingers crossed for the offer!!!

Posted on January 28, 2015 at 2:48 pm 1

On Fixing the Hiring Process

I just had a TERRIBLE phone interview last night, was supposed to be a corporate check off of sorts, as the people here locally had already extensively interviewed and have told me I'm their top choice, but I got the most bro-tastic sales douche who grilled me on trivia, asked me what I did in HIGH SCHOOL, told him about my competitive sports AND my clarinet playing, which he derided "while it's great you played the clarinet, i want competitive people on my team, i want WINNERS." He basically cut our conversation completely, told me he questions if I really want the job, and told me to "do my homework" and call him back in a few days. Floored. How can i have five unbelievably good interviews with normal humans only to get this guy, who's not even the top guy AND isn't local/would have minimal direct influence on me, be so awful?! And all I could think is that he's probably hired only LAX brah morons because the two things he looks for in an employee is a high school sports history and the ability to memorize unnecessary data, and for that he's actually putting a cap on his commission. His loss.

Posted on January 27, 2015 at 11:15 am 0

On Meeting The Me That Could Have Been

How about when your unrequited love, to whom you professed your love and was painfully shot down, somehow finds and begins to date Alternative Me?!?! I hate her.

Posted on January 12, 2015 at 4:39 pm 0

On My Not-So-Great Grandfather And The Great Depression

Loved this piece. Most of my family who lived through the Depression are long dead, but the few stories remain are so similar, and my grandmother always spoke of the impact it had on her father and community. Fascinating information, thanks for sharing.

Posted on January 3, 2015 at 2:08 pm 0

On My Not-So-Great Grandfather And The Great Depression

Loved this piece. Most of my family who lived through the Depression are long dead, but the few stories remain are so similar, and my grandmother always spoke of the impact it had on her father and community. Fascinating information, thanks for sharing.

Posted on January 3, 2015 at 2:08 pm 0

On How Much Did You Spend On Music This Year

I just finished reorganizing my CD collection, an onerous task that had people around me questioning my sanity (and for a measly 500ish CDs). I still buy them, but definitely not like I used to. I tend to spend about $120 twice a year when I allow myself to go to a record store (and some of that is used), perhaps another $60 from one-offs I buy through amazon, probably another $60 I spend on iTunes (mostly for videos, though, another collection I can't stop), and then usually about $60 in CDs for my family for xmas. Just over $500? Sheesh, I have a problem. Don't get me started on books....

Posted on December 16, 2014 at 3:52 pm 1

On The Search for an Unpillable Sweater

I spend money on sweaters, I just do. $150 would be miraculously cheap, often $300 is the norm but I've got a couple that push $500. I might have about a dozen at this point, and with the exception of gaining weight and having a couple that are just a little too tight right now, they are all in fantastic condition, minimal pilling, look great year to year, and they last. It's so nice when the temperature finally drops and I am reunited with my old friends. I may buy one a year to further the collection, or I may not. I realize this doesn't help for people who try to be fashionable, but they're classic and they fit my body and I accessorize, and I get plenty of compliments on them. So worth it.

Posted on December 9, 2014 at 11:58 am 0