On Eating Thanksgiving Dinner in a Restaurant is Cheating Y/N

My family started a tradition of traveling for Thanksgiving, partly as an escape from my father's deranged side of the family. We've done the NYC/Macy's parade thing, gone to Charleston, golf resort in florida, destination football game, Ptown relaxation and fun, you name it. Since entering the booze biz/service industry, it's too busy for me to travel and take time off, so now my small family of two comes to see me. It's also interesting to note like others have that people get old, get sick, become incapable to cook or do the old traditions, and die. My father died when I was 17 and everything definitely changed, most definitely a major thing being that tradition can change, and often life forces it do so. I love having my family in town, and last year was the first (and still only, no plans to do it again this year) time that we've cooked (I did the cooking, with sister as sous chef) in nearly two decades. It's a time for us to be together as family, and sometimes that means going out. I also work so many holidays myself, and Thanksgiving is the one I choose to spend with family. I know it sucks for people to not be able to go home, but at the same time we develop our new families in the restaurant world. I've hosted so many Christmas meals for the orphans, and every holiday evening if you go to the right places you'll find all the cooks and bartenders together, celebrating our makeshift families, raising glasses and stuffing our faces. Family is what you make of it, and tradition has to be flexible.

Posted on November 19, 2014 at 7:17 pm 0

On For Whom Is The New York Times?

Every week I show my roommate an ad in the Sunday magazine and pretend I'm serious about buying the $50 million penthouse. In all seriousness, you're right - newspapers are driven by ad sales. Even though I adore the nytimes, this is why public news is so integral.

Posted on November 10, 2014 at 7:46 pm 1

On A Father/Daughter Duo Answers Your Questions: What Career Path Should I Take?

@Markovaa I'm seconding this opinion (along with the good advice from artsypants). I left museums for the wine industry, and while I've dealt with all the insecure feelings of having given up and selling out and not using my degree, I've actually realized how much happier I am in my career path. I read this earlier in the day and my immediate thought was "run!!! run far away!!!" but even with a little time distance I don't feel any different. I adored working in museums, and I put so many hours and so many dollars toward it (grad school, unpaid internships in expensive cities, lackluster pay resulting in credit card debt), but I've found that they only people who "make it" are the ones who were able to sustain that un/underpaid lifestyle for YEARS and then subsist on nothing still, i.e. they are all independently wealthy. I still resent two of my grad school classmates for their jobs because they were able to take $12/hour part-time positions for over THREE YEARS before they even became a full time salaried person, and I just wasn't willing to work in that environment. This was a two different museums in two different cities, far too common a story. Like academia, no one seems to tell people the truth before they go into this. That said, one of my professors made one off-hand comment to me midway through grad school to not "become one of those museum slaves" that work on $25k/year because they either hire trust funders or hedge fund wives, and it took me three more years before I realized how right he was. Last anecdote, another top notch museum friend (we are talking creme de la creme of internships and school and smarts) has been at a university museum for the last six years or so and is practically running the place yet making ~$50k/year. There is no. where. for her to go where she is, and uprooting herself is her only options and that's for such an insignificant amount of money that she's turned down other opportunities, and I know she loves what she does but she's far too young to be hitting the ceiling and I assure you she'll be doing something else before she's 40.

Posted on November 10, 2014 at 7:39 pm 0

On This Is Terrible, But: The Pain of Tipping People Richer Than Me

@thirtysum I second this. One can hate the tipping system, but it is the rule of our land and the system we must work with. If tipping is a key factor in how someone, anyone, makes money in a certain job, one should tip appropriately regardless of any additional unrelated factors you may have knowledge of. Would you offer someone a lower salary because you know she has a rich husband or a trust fund, even though both your budget allows it and the job responsibilities dictate a higher rate? Or better yet, would you want an employer to do that to you if you found yourself in that situation?

Posted on October 15, 2014 at 10:33 am 0

On What Your Sex Life Has to do with Barry Diller and Diane Von Furstenberg

@nf I've told people for years that I refuse to use that site because of it's poor design, glad to finally see I'm not the only one who notices!

Posted on October 15, 2014 at 10:26 am 0

On 2013 Median Household Income is 8 Percent Lower Than 2007 Income

1999 - Freshman in high school, got my first real job bussing tables at the local family restaurant, where we ate probably 3 times a week (including lunch, my mother probably went there 5 - 6 times a week). This both established my need to eat out half the week and work my ass off in order to afford it. 2007 - Midway through grad school in the arts, continued working that winter/spring in high end retail, think I was making around $13/hour, plus free coffees and treats from the delicious cafe next door. I spent the summer in DC on an unpaid internship, sponsored by mom, second year of her also sponsoring adult big city rents, made me want to barf every month writing the check even with the knowledge that the money was transferred over. The fall brought another unpaid internship and two paltry TA stipends, but I was hopeful that my museum gig was going to work out and thought I'd be swimming in it with at $35k job by May (flash forward, that job went poof) 2013 - Finally "getting ahead" in my fallback career, though still feeling stretched beyond my means due to work expenses. Making about $65k, but spending a third of take home on my sales job because my employer and industry sucks and thinks it's ok to force 100% sales commission employees to pay their own way. Started to realize I was spending my own money to fill the coffers of someone else, started to get bitter.

Posted on October 15, 2014 at 10:18 am 0

On It's Not the Clocks That Are the Problem

I had no idea other people felt the same way about meetings destroying days. I'm such a mess this way, if I find myself with anywhere from 5 to 40 minutes before a scheduled meeting and the task before it is complete, I cannot compel myself to do ANYTHING productive because I know that I will be interrupted when the meeting shows up. OR after meetings I need a lot of time as well, or else the day is over and I can't get started up again because what's the point, I'm going to be interrupted by the end of the day and everyone leaving. That said, I have always known that "autonomy over my time and schedule" is a big big big thing for me, almost to the point where I can't work a fixed schedule. Talk about hard to find a job that allows that :-/

Posted on October 7, 2014 at 5:31 pm 1

On The Beach: A Bargain or A Bummer?

@jenny0 Not only that, but nearly everyone is vitamin D deficient, and I spent too many years afraid of skin cancer and loaded on spf that i ended up with critically low D levels (we're talking a 7, my doctor had never seen a level so low). The darker one's skin, the more time in the sun needed to get beneficial levels of natural D. In the summer, I strive to get 20 to 30 minutes of "unsafe sun exposure" on days when the sun is out, cutting down my need to take supplements, but together (sun and supplements) my life has completely changed for the better. There is something to that idea that a tan on someone makes them look "healthier," when balanced and done so intelligently, they often are...

Posted on July 28, 2014 at 12:46 pm 0

On How Evangelical Christians Do Money: On Tithing

Serious question - do Jews tithe?

Posted on July 9, 2014 at 8:59 am 0

On A Pick-Your-Brain Fee?

Related, I have been in transition/trying to figure out my next step for a the last six months or so, and thought I had a really great idea that I discussed with some people close to me (my roommate/bestie, my other bestie, my sister) and decided to ask another close friend - like hang out several times a month, know each other's inner thoughts, way more than just acquaintance kind of friend, but still new (known each other less than a year). He joked over text that his consultation fee was 10%, then when we got together for drinks mentioned it again, and this time made it pretty clear he wasn't kidding, that his feedback on the skeleton of an idea I had would be 10% of the resulting business. I was miffed - are we not allowed to run ideas past our closest friends for their thoughts and opinions?!

Posted on June 24, 2014 at 8:09 pm 0