I'm curious about the five principles. How does the individualism of the first two (freedom, "victimhood") relate to the empathy & collectivism of the fifth? At first I was ready to roll my eyes a bit at this guy ("freedom! liberty! individual autonomy! these things are not culturally constructed or contingent at all!") but the last one made me more curious than anything.
I got my own land line when I first moved out. I was on a parental cell phone plan for a while later on (in conjunction with having a land line of my own) but honestly it never felt like a healthy boundary in my particular family dynamic. It was freeing to get my own cell phone plan (shared with my partner).
@@fo Fair point--my concern about getting from a police report to an enforceable order or decision of any kind remains, however. I don't know the process and am not confident it would be straightforward, even though justice would appear to be entirely on the daughter's side in this case.
This is so terrible! I don't know what would happen if she filed a police report--I wonder how many steps there between that & actually getting a court to enforce an order that the mother pay this off. Perhaps an intermediate option would be to insist on working out a payment plan with a mediator (a lot of places have great community mediation services that are not super expensive) as an alternative to seeking official legal redress. And I feel like that plan should involve at least investigating the option of the mother getting credit elsewhere (a bank loan, transferring balances between cards) to put the debt immediately into her own name. A mediator would be able to help with the difficult family dynamics too, hopefully.
@Emily O'Neill@twitter yes, exactly--to be clear, I wanted to reply to the theme in the comments that seems to suggest that you should have known you'd never make a living in poetry because it's just totally impossible, like defying gravity. Whereas actually you describe really well why and how it's impossible here & now, while retaining a sense that it doesn't always have to be that way.
It feels important to point out that this is the product of a particular time & place. You can't earn a living writing poetry in the United States in 2013. You can make a living in the United States, sometimes, doing other kinds of art (eg commercially successful musicians, a very few novelists, etc.). And creative writers have had more financial support (commercial & through government subsidies) in other countries & at other times. "The arts don't pay" isn't some kind of natural universal law; it's an outgrowth of how we've structured our society.
I appreciate the argument that there's a mismatch between college education (and cost!) and job acquisition, but it's still the case that college graduates have much lower rates of unemployment. http://www.bls.gov/news.release/empsit.t04.htm I think any program of apprenticeships would need to take into account the reasons for this disparity.
@ThatJenn So not stupid to want to keep the car. It makes sense that it's an emotionally complicated situation, since really you're paring back/losing flexibility in order to invest in your partner's future / your joint future. No matter what that just adds some layers of emotional complexity. Good luck!
It worked in the 19th century too! But they called it empire. (Or informal empire, in the Chinese case...)
@OllyOlly I thought she might be paying for preschool, which is not available publicly in many places.