On The "Give Everyone a Goalie" Kind of Sex Ed

@garli <3 <3

Posted on August 22, 2014 at 12:12 pm 0

On The "Give Everyone a Goalie" Kind of Sex Ed

@Ester Bloom Thanks for responding. I get that you were being flip and I don't meant to overreact but it really felt way to flip, at least to me, for something that is actually a big issue in this country and does affect a lot of lives. I appreciate your response.

Posted on August 22, 2014 at 11:51 am 0

On The "Give Everyone a Goalie" Kind of Sex Ed

@sea ermine I’m sorry I’m posting about this so much but I’m honestly incredibly disappointing that the billfold is viewing abstinence only sex ed + free IUDs as a “win win” scenario and that none of the editors seem to have a problem with that? Abstinence only sex ed is about so much more than just telling kids not to have sex (which is a pointless thing to do anyway) it at best keeps kids in the dark about their own bodies and lives and at worst spreads completely false information. And I’m just talking about basic abstinence only sex ed, I’m not even getting into the issue of the schools who hire people to come in and tell children that having sex makes them like used piece of tape, or a flower with all it’s petals ripped off (often associated with religious schools but I do know people who received this information in public schools). That’s not a win for anyone but kids who have parents who have the time and knowledge to do the work of unpacking all of that misinformation, and hoping that their kids haven’t internalized too much of it already. And even then, that’s less of a win and more of an “I guess this situation was sort of saved in the end, maybe”. I realize this comment is late, I missed the article yesterday but I hope someone reads it and thinks about how they frame these kinds of articles in the future.

Posted on August 22, 2014 at 11:24 am 3

On The "Give Everyone a Goalie" Kind of Sex Ed

@cryptolect One thing to remember is that a sizable chunk of teen pregnancies are happening between teen girls and adult men (typically early twenties), so it's not just teen boys that need to be thought about.

Posted on August 22, 2014 at 11:12 am 0

On The "Give Everyone a Goalie" Kind of Sex Ed

@sea ermine Not to mention the fact that the vast majority of teen pregnancies in the US happen between high school girls and adult men. Sex ed can't stop statutory rape (and neither can a free IUD) but it does give teachers an option to talk to their students about consent and potentially provide students with a safe adult to talk to about their concerns, which they may not necessarily be getting at home.

Posted on August 22, 2014 at 11:10 am 1

On The "Give Everyone a Goalie" Kind of Sex Ed

@sea ermine Another thing to remember is that the average reader of the billfold is probably more than capable of having a healthy discussion with their child about sex. But that doesn't mean every parent can and public schools are teaching every child, not just the children of the billfold. I know kids who were horrified and in tears the first time they got their period because they thought they were bleeding to death because their parents refused to talk to them about what was happening. The fact that you and I and probably everyone else on this comment thread can have a healthy discussion about this with our kids/future kids/hypothetical kids does not mean that every parent can. If you don't have sex ed, and your parents didn't, and their parents didn't and your household has a culture of shame and fear about sex and bodies how are you going to find out this information but not in school? I think a lot of the time it's really easy for liberal progressive people, or people with really positive home lives, to forget that the resources they can provide for their children are not resources everyone has access to. This isn't that much different than a math teacher saying that because he can teach his kids math, math classes should be removed from schools for everyone. Except not knowing math doesn't deprive you of basic information about how your own body functions.

Posted on August 22, 2014 at 11:08 am 1

On The "Give Everyone a Goalie" Kind of Sex Ed

I'm honestly horrified the billfold would suggest trading abstinence only sex ed for free IUDs? Look, I have an IUD and I love it but there are so many issues with this idea. If you are combining giving everyone an IUD with abstinence only sex ed that means these girls have no idea what is going into their bodies or why it's going in there. Not to mention the fact that IUDs don't protect against STIs? Or the fact that there is so much more to sex ed than just keeping kids from getting pregnant. Honestly, the thing is I know so so many adult well educated feminist woman who still don't understand certain things about sex or their bodies or who believe things that are patently false, even among those who had a semi regular (non abstinence only) sex ed, because that is just how bad sex ed is in this country. I have had gynecologists tell my friends things that were false, to shame them out of certain procedures. And they are going to go on and pass that misinformation and stereotypes onto their kids, along with all the other outdated knowledge their kids pick of from friends with less knowledgeable parents. And those are the lucky one's, I had to recently explain to another adult woman (who grew up with abstinence only sex ed) what a clitoris was and that she had one. I was very fortunate to grow up with comprehensive sex ed taught by qualified teachers (I was living in Germany at the time and so this wasn't uncommon where I was growing up) and I would still want whatever I talk to my kids about to be supplemented by knowledgeable qualified professionals who have access to more up to date research than I do and can provide accurate information. I think people assume sex ed is about encouraging kids to have/not have sex and it isn't. If you want to talk to your kids about your own idea of when they should have sex go right ahead but they should still udnerstand information about STIs, birth control efficacy rates, information about pregnancy and what happens during a pregnancy, info about their reproductive systems, etc. Just like I would want for a biology class, or any science or health class. So yeah, I would love for low cost or free birth control (including, but not limited to IUDs) but I don't want that to come with an agreement that kids will be kept in the dark about how their own bodies work as well as being mislead about a device that's actually going inside their body.

Posted on August 22, 2014 at 11:03 am 2

On Here Is Your Open Thread

@frumious bandersnatch Excluding rent and debt it's $510-610 depending on how many miscellaneous supplies I need each month (that's stuff like cleaning supplies or laundry or paper towels or fixing a broken doorknob or something). Including rent and debt it's $1935 which seems horrifyingly high now that I type it out but I live alone in an expensive city (NYC) and have student loans and like to eat really well so while I should probably lower the amount...living alone and eating what I want is important to me. The breakdown is: Heat: 18 Electric: 65 (summer, winter it's more like 40) Internet: 40 Cell Phone: 87 Groceries: 200 Loans: 200 Fun Money + Supply Money: 100-200 Rent: 1225

Posted on July 26, 2014 at 12:24 am 0

On The Last (Profane but Awesome) Word on Weddings

@aetataureate I see what you mean but if most people attending are single it could get very expensive to pay for everyone to have a plus one. I personally don't see anything wrong with going solo to a wedding (I'm going solo to a wedding this fall and it's going to be a super fun time) but I do understand why someone might not be able to find the money to pay for everyone to have a plus one (even if that just means the money for a larger space). If I felt uncomfortable at a wedding by myself (for any reason!) I'd probably just rsvp that I couldn't come and send a nice card.

Posted on July 21, 2014 at 4:56 pm 0

On Family Plan Shame

I'm on a family plan but my parents aren't on it (they don't live in the same country as me so they couldn't be even if they wanted to). Basically I was on a plan of my own but I did the math and found out that a family plan would save me money so I convinced my sister to transfer her phone onto my plan. I only save like $15 a month but that's better than nothing!

Posted on July 21, 2014 at 4:46 pm 0