@Michelle LeBlanc@twitter Ha, I should have posted my response, below, as a reply to your comment. Agree 100%, will thumbs-up you belatedly.
My superpower is editing resumes and cover letters. All I ever want, when the job comes through, is a real thank-you (not an offhand thanks-dude), but I never say no to n=1 drinks occasion. Truly though it's just great to be able to help. And I try to remind myself that if someone offers to help me in some other regard, using his or her own peculiar superpowers, I should not feel guilty about saying yes, because don't I want that person also to have the joy of having helped? Yes, yes I do.
@hellonheels I almost replied to you yesterday saying that I would be interested in exactly such a post, whenever you're able to write it. Your situation sounds weird and tense, I hope you're able to hoard cash like a Vanderbilt in anticipation of autonomy and escape. Good luck.
I rent a house with my boyfriend and have extra withholding taken out of my paycheck (which I always need at tax time so don't count it in take-home) -- I pay 12% on gross and 20% on net. Soon those figures will approximately double since we are finally buying a house. I'm including property taxes in the latter figure since they will be bundled in. I'm slightly terrified but we don't have any debt, really wanted to do a 15-year mortgage, and have emergency funds if something goes sideways; I am also looking forward to having to be more self-accountable on a daily basis. I never calculated these figures before and doing so has made me feel more optimistic already.
@chic noir They can be REALLY ugly, at least in the two states I know about. And thank you for reminding me that I owe the lawyer friend of a friend an e-mail -- I am in the process of committing the same act and our real-estate lawyer advised us to contact a specialist and draw up some serious contracts before closing. Two grand for peace of mind? A bargain.
@ellabella Never regret getting the fancy cheese. (That may be as close as I have to a life motto.)
@RachelG8489 Congratulations on the job offer -- have a wonderful weekend and I hope you find something perfect for your first day.
@jmdj I agree and that was well put. And how's this, if someone is truly an ungracious guest just don't invite that person over again. It works both ways, too: if I were invited to a dinner at someone's house and then learned I was expected to pay, I would not accept another invitation from that host. I'm aghast that the writer of the post thinks it's OK to charge guests at a dinner party but I am blasted dumbstruck that her friends apparently are willing to keep handing over the cash.
@dudeascending I just want to applaud your characterization of the author's mix of self-satisfaction and self-doubt. That is exactly what I felt, too.
@Morbo As someone who does not have kids, I am by no means a member of "the child-free movement." I am just a person who does not have kids, the same way you are a person who does. I sure hope I'm not self satisfied or smug about it, but I would hope you'd wait until you meet me and talk to me about it before you pull out those adjectives. Personally I think the term "child free" is gross, but a work pal of mine happily applies it to herself. Different strokes. I live in an expensive city and I know a handful of women who have made the difficult decision not to have kids, for instance because they couldn't afford good child care and can't get jobs that pay better. I know someone who would rather not roll the dice on the scary genetic disease that runs in her family. I know a couple who would love to adopt and would be brilliant parents but one of them has some health issues that (preposterously) get her screened out by every agency they've tried. I wish you wouldn't make assumptions about their characters based on the surface fact that they don't have kids.