Things I’ve Bought My Mom for Her Birthday

• A necklace from Etsy with her birthstone as a charm and my first initial as a charm so we would always be together. I thought that was cute. But it was very short, like a choker, so she doesn’t wear it because shes not in The fucking Craft.

• One million items of clothing and accessories that I thought would be relevant to her, but ended up being too small, too big, wrong color and promptly returned, with the refund returned to me, because she hates when I spend money on her.

• $30 gift card to LOFT (she loves LOFT)

Alternative Bank of America Email Alerts

Bank of America Alert.

Dispatches from a Visit to Planned Parenthood

Did u know that an exam at planned parenthood is NINETY BUCKS

This is dumb. Sex is dumb. Why does it have to cost $90?

I just thought planned parenthood was supposed to be like $5

Dollar menu sexual health 

You Are Overreacting

Woahwoahwoahwoah woah woahhhhhhhh. Woah. Let’s not do something we’re going to regret now, Sprint.

Heat for When You Have No Heat

Multitasking with a haircare.

European Organic Manicure, My Cure (?) (A Poem About a Groupon)

A poem about a Groupon.

4 Famous People I Served Brunch to And How They Tipped

Famous people and you (no, famous people and ME).

A Prayer for a Gray and Kind of Grumpy Thursday Afternoon

Self control, do I have it?

Essential Gadgets for College Kids

What to buy for college.

My Last Hundred Bucks: One Donut Only (Okay, Two)

Where’d your last hundred bucks go, Lauren Rodrigue?