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Things I’ve Bought My Mom for Her Birthday
• A necklace from Etsy with her birthstone as a charm and my first initial as a charm so we would always be together. I thought that was cute. But it was very short, like a choker, so she doesn’t wear it because shes not in The fucking Craft.
• One million items of clothing and accessories that I thought would be relevant to her, but ended up being too small, too big, wrong color and promptly returned, with the refund returned to me, because she hates when I spend money on her.
• $30 gift card to LOFT (she loves LOFT)
Dispatches from a Visit to Planned Parenthood
Did u know that an exam at planned parenthood is NINETY BUCKS
This is dumb. Sex is dumb. Why does it have to cost $90?
I just thought planned parenthood was supposed to be like $5
Dollar menu sexual health
You Are Overreacting
Woahwoahwoahwoah woah woahhhhhhhh. Woah. Let’s not do something we’re going to regret now, Sprint.
Heat for When You Have No Heat
Multitasking with a haircare.
European Organic Manicure, My Cure (?) (A Poem About a Groupon)
A poem about a Groupon.
A Prayer for a Gray and Kind of Grumpy Thursday Afternoon
Self control, do I have it?
Essential Gadgets for College Kids
What to buy for college.
My Last Hundred Bucks: One Donut Only (Okay, Two)
Where’d your last hundred bucks go, Lauren Rodrigue?
