This is not a story about divorce. This is a story of mental illness. The story is sad and interesting but something strikes me as low about putting so much blame on a person who is clearly mentally ill. He does not explain why he agreed to cosign her loan and why he agreed to buy a house beyond their means while putting the blame entirely on her for where they ended up. Also if they had done any prior research they would have realized that lawyers don’t make the kind of money people think they do. 40-50K per year is quite common in small firms and public interest work. She likely didn’t have the option of getting the 120K job he resented her for not having. He is not being fair.
Logan, I respect that you are so nonjudgmental, because it means that you can engage people in ways that draw them out without making them feel self-conscious. THAT SAID, this dude is frustrating for reasons that have mostly already been outlined in other comments. But I also notice that he doesn't mention charitable giving or volunteer work of any sort. I mean, people are entitled to spend their money and time however they want, plus it sounds like this guy's too afraid of going broke any day now anyway, but it seems like it could do a lot for his sense of perspective. Right now he only compares himself to other rich doctors and to his rich neighbors, who all seem to share a similar habit of conflating luxuries with necessities that therefore allows them to believe that they are barely getting by and hardly indulging at all. Even the way he talks about his upbringing and young adulthood seems clouded by a lack of exposure to other people who weren't as privileged he was (which is why he says things like, "my parents paid for college but it wasn't expensive" and "I spent a year traveling on my parents' dime" with no sense of what markers of wealth those things were and are). But what's really frustrating/annoying is the idea that being "rich" means being immune from worry and responsibility. There is a lot wrong with that, but most strikingly it's the failure to acknowledge the difference between worrying (about retirement, college, etc) and planning. Those things are not the same.
"If a credit card company wants to pay me for living within my means and paying my bills on time—something I’m going to do anyway—I don’t see why I shouldn’t take their money. They’d be all too happy to take mine." This is so awesome. I put everything on my cash back credit card and pay the balance in full whenever I sit down in front of my computer. I have never once paid interest on the card and it feels great - I struggled with using a credit card a lot when I was younger, and racked up about $4k in debt, but there is a way to use them responsibly. My primary card was comprised online last week and I've had to use my stupid pointless back up and it's killing me.
@Michelle I have a point blanket! It's a four point and I got it at an auction for sixty dollars.
By Laura on I Want to Live Alone
As a fellow Boston-dweller, she most likely won't find a one bedroom or even a studio for cheaper than $1,000 a month. Finding a 2 bedroom for this amount is, as she stated, literally unheard of and insane for almost every part of boston, and actually seems like the best bet for trying to live alone.
OK but we can all agree that it would show a REAL lack of empathy if her friend responded "don't you mean better for whom?"
@Michelle I agree with you, but at the same time I can imagine a particular dynamic between friends where it wouldn't be so offensive
@fo "Because that $1.2m wasn’t going to Africa, ever, anyway." Yes -- that is a good point I forgot to make!
I just added this book to my TBR pile via Goodreads a few days ago. The thing women like Olen, who I adore BTW , need to remember is, not every woman desires a corner office or even a cute cubicle.
Haha, it looks like we've reache this stage!