@kerrypolka Right, but then why did she agree to pay the high mortgage? You'd have to go back to "no financial sense whatsoever", wouldn't you? Like I said, there has to be more going on here than she's saying.
I actually think there's a lot more going on here than the letter writer is saying. I mean, if they've divided the bills (she pays the mortgage, he pays the bills) and he gives her money on a weekly basis, they must have had some sort of discussion at some point. Plus, if the mortgage is the only thing she has to pay for and she's still constantly broke, she either has a) an insane mortgage that she has agreed to pay for some reason, b) insane debts from before they were married, c) next to no income, d) no financial sense whatsoever, or e) some combination of the above. If she already has significant debts and is not good with money, I can understand his not wanting to combine their accounts/credit cards. My fiancee and I maintain separate bank accounts, but we do it in a way that feels fair to both of us and with the understanding that our division of the bills can and will change as our financial circumstances change. We both grew up in households where both parents worked, and yet the higher-earning parent always complained about what the other spent, using the words "you're spending my money". We don't want that for our relationship.
@redheaded&crazy We don't have them in Newfoundland! I was appalled when I found out that they were done in Ontario. My fiancee and I aren't doing it. I very much doubt that she would have wanted to, but after hearing my opinion of them she definitely wouldn't have suggested it. They're done under a different name in the Prairie provinces, but I can't remember what it is.
Chocolate. Although I have to admit I didn't like the taste of the free-trade chocolates I've tried enough to justify the extra expense. I would happily pay more for better chocolate that was also free-trade, but I balk at paying more for substandard chocolate even if it is free trade. I am a bad, bad, unethical consumer. I know. I'm good with free-trade textiles, though. I've got a lovely free-trade silk scarf, and there've been several items I've coveted but couldn't quite justify when I found them. Maybe now that I'm working overtime again...
I don't really know how to do this anymore! I was originally saving up for my wedding, but then I went back to working overtime and we moved up the wedding and I have already put four deposits on my credit card. So I guess I should start keeping track of my credit card, except that I think I can pay the whole thing off within three months because of the aforementioned overtime? I think the answer is to stop participating and just cheer all of you guys on.
Logan. I get that you're unlearning a lot of suboptimal behaviours, and I know it's hard and that you can't do it all at once. I really do sympathize! But it sounds crazy to set up automatic bill payments so that everything important gets paid, but then to get rid of the automatic payments because you can't actually afford to pay for the important stuff after overspending. The automatic payments are not the problem here; the overspending at the start of the month is.
@BananaPeel Yeah, I think it would have been easier to just go in and ask them to scan one that was already in the store. That's what I did the time I walked out with cat litter I hadn't been charged for.
@readyornot Not sarcasm! Debt is not a good thing if you want, like, a good job with the federal government wherein you deal with sensitive material. I couldn't do my current job if I had failed the credit check. But to be a spy? Honest to God, the CIA does not give a shit why you want to do it. They wouldn't hire you to be an agent, I don't think, but they pay desperate people for information all the time.
Actually, Logan, you probably could be a spy. I met with a couple of CIA agents when I was training for my current job, and apparently spies are mostly people who a) are looking for some excitement and b) are deeply in debt.