We Are Never Going to Sign This Form

$77 to install a meter when we are renting the damn place? Oh-ho! When I saw this the first time, I filled with a rage reserved only for this specific person, my landlord, my only enemy, who refers to himself always as “owner,” weed-wacks our vegetable garden, comes in our apartment while we are gone, and tries to illegally overcharge us for rent.

Places I’ve Lived: Spiral Staircases, Sublets, and a Nightmare Landlord

My college roommate found our first adult apartment, an unbelievable duplex, in Center City. It was perfect in many ways—dishwasher, washer/dryer in the bathroom, elegant spiral staircase, directly above an independent bookstore.