I’m not a smoker, but I know enough smokers to know that combining your “please, no smoking” message with “COUGH, COUGH, COUGH” is a pretty good way to get someone to hate-smoke all up in your grill. Also: A $350 cleaning fee seems … well, not reasonable, exactly, but certainly within the realm of rationalization for someone already paying $600/night for a hotel room in midtown Manhattan.