The Delicate Nature of Asking Your Parents for Financial Help

I have not asked my parents for very much, mostly because they've never had much, financially, to give. As a child, if you grow up with not that much, you don’t know what you’re missing. For so long, your worldview is only as big as the two-block radius you’re allowed to travel, and since you return home every night like a little boomerang, you only understand what it is that happens inside your house. You only understand the world within the context of what you’re living with, so when I was growing up, I understood on a very basic level that we had enough to get by.

A Father-Daughter Duo Answers Your Questions: Balancing a Relationship With Financial Differences

Here's the problem: my boyfriend has HUGE student loan debt. Like, staggeringly large. His salary is pretty low... which doesn't bother me except that he's barely making any inroads on paying off his debt, and doesn't really have a plan to do so. I don't mind being the bigger contributor to our rent, bills, etc., but I don't want to sink my life savings into paying off his debt, not least because of the, let's face it, entirely real possibility of future break-up or divorce. A girl's gotta be practical. Photo: Vinoth Chandar

Because Anything is Cheaper than Divorce

Don't get divorced. It's an expensive, stressful process that makes an enemy out of the person you once chose above all others in front of your friends and family, people who, by the way, each spent $60-$300 on a wedding gift -- and, most likely, much more on clothes, babysitters, travel, and lodging -- to celebrate your deathless love.

Dating Using Discounts

Meaghan: Mike! I just read an excellent article on the Date Report that cites you as a couponing expert. Or um, quotes you about your couponing-while-dating philosophy.

On the Purchase of New Pillows

When we moved in together, PT and I combined our pillows without thinking about it. We just put pillowcases on them and piled them on the bed. Two of them went to the bed in the furnished extra room that we rent out as often as we can (n.b. we have not used Airbnb yet!). Some were mine and some were his, but all of them—save for the one Ikea pillow I picked up at some point in the past seven years in New York—were of unknown provenance; and they were gross.

How I Got $1,000 Back From My Pot-Dealing Ex

I shouldn’t have continued dating Jason once I found out he sold weed. I probably should have just called it quits when he angrily threw a small McDonald’s French fry at me because I didn’t read his mind and buy a burger. And, I definitely shouldn’t have loaned him $1,000 over the course of the few months we dated.

How Do Couples Use Joint Accounts?

The problem is how to use the joint account. Just bills? Groceries? Do groceries include beer from the liquor store?

“If the guys are hot, too, then sure, they can get a hot girl.”

There is so much to love about The Atlantic’s article “The Myth of Wealthy Men and Beautiful Women.” It reports on a new study by University of Notre Dame sociologist Elizabeth McClintock which states that romantic pairings are more likely to be people who are closely matched in terms of compatibility and values than people who are exchanging one type of scarce resource for another (e.g. “wealth” for “beauty”).

Read the whole piece, because the way Atlantic writer James Hamblin gets to the conclusion is delightful — he invokes the Simpsons episode “Lisa’s Rival” and suggests that some of the scarce resources couples could swap might be “graduate degrees” and “marketable skills” — and make sure you read every single quote from his interview with Dr. McClintock:

“Women spend a lot more time trying to look good than men do. That creates a lot of mess in this data. If you don’t take that into account then you actually see there’s a lot of these guys who are partnered with women who are better looking than them, which is just because, on average, women are better looking.”

“If the guys are hot, too, then sure, they can get a hot girl.”

“It’s not just this trade of his money for her beauty, and he’s going to dump her as soon as she starts to get some wrinkles around her eyes.”

(And now, the question for y’all: is your romantic pairing based solely on compatibility and values, or did you take into account resource-swapping — even a little bit — when you built your partnership?)

 

A Father-Daughter Duo Answers Your Questions: On a Parent-Child Relationship Based on Financial Support

So I guess what I'm wondering is this: How do I grow a financial backbone in the face of such generosity and how do I do this while maintaining a strong relationship with my father?

When One Person Earns More Than the Other in a Relationship

Things are not even in most respects, and I get that.