Cereal is, in many ways, the people’s food. It’s easy to prepare, utterly satisfying, and, though charged with being a breakfast food, it is suitable for lunch, dinner, and even dessert (it’s truly a 24/7 food product). Cereal is staggering in its versatility: in a bowl with milk (duh), as gorp, mixed with melted marshmallows and turned into treats, eaten straight out of the box during Sunday night TV. It even, arguably, has a nice range in healthiness: your Special Ks and Grape-Nuts are heartily at the bottom of the food pyramid, while your your Captain Crunches and Apple Jacks hang out at the top.

But there is one thing keeping cereal from claiming its place as a true food of and for the people: price. This stuff is ridiculously expensive. A standard, major-brand box can go for $3 to $6 a box. Even the knock-offs (your Nutty Nuggets, Golden Puffs, Krusty O’s, and Cinnamon Toasters, which we all know just isn’t the same) usually only goes for a dollar less! Bulk packaging is available, of course, but variety is the spice of life! A lifetime supply of Oat O’s does not a fulfilling diet make. 

But: I have a tip for keeping you in your cereal habit, even if you don’t have cash to burn. Before I moved to New York my mother gave me lots of advice I conveniently forgot, but I remembered one thing she said that has proven to be most useful. She told me: “Lindsey, always buy cereal in drugstores.” That’s right: Rite Aids and Duane Reades and Walgreens aren’t merely for prescription meds and late night Pringles, they are also your number one resource for CHEAP BRAND NAME CEREAL. You heard me: In a drugstore, cereal is always on sale.

I’ve brought cereal boxes to bars before, because I just couldn’t help stopping into the CVS to see if they had my favorite brands on sale (and also: I wanted a snack).  My roommate calls me a cereal hoarder, but he just doesn’t understand the deals I’m getting. Plus: Cereal doesn’t (really) go bad! Stale cereal is just as edible as a freshly ripped-open bag. I’m basically running an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet with the amounts of Corn Flakes and Bran Krisps I hoard.

The drugstore is your friend, fellow cereal lover. It’s a way for even the most broke of us to keep our shelves in boxes of sugar and fortified-vitamins. Two-for-one deals are especially common, in my experience, which means you’ll be getting your beloved Cocoa Puffs and Lucky Charms and Special K with Berries for around $2 each. That’s a price for the people. (You usually have to sign up for the loyalty card or whatever the heck, but you should do this anyway.)

Lindsey Weber likes cereal. 

I hate gambling, but I love slot machines. “For the plotlines,” as they say. Well, I guess they don’t say that about slot machines, but it applies. The magic behind casino slot machines is that (shhh) they are all the same. The same rules, the same odds, the same complimentary ashtrays piled next to the levers.

It really shouldn’t matter what the theme of the game is—be it “Fantastical Unicorns” or “Dean Martin’s Wild Party”—but it does matter. Gamblers like myself spend hours wandering around casino floors looking for the fated machine that feels lucky. I decided to find and survey Mohegan Sun’s most pop culturally relevant slot machines. Was one of them my slot soulmate, destined to help me hit the jackpot? (Spoiler: No.) Here’s what I found. Starting Balance: $50

“Sex and the City”
These things were conveniently peppered across the casino floor, so I decided to start there. Plus: My friend Kelly recently won $200 on the “Sex and the City” slots PRECEDENCE. Each SATC protagonist has his or her own slot iconery and casino value—or “progression,” as they call it. Among the ladies, the order is: Carrie (glimmering laptop), Samantha (sexy dog collar), Miranda (scales of justice), and lastly, Charlotte (baby rattle). (I guess Charlotte’s uptight demeanor and hazy art gallery gig was deemed not high-roller enough for the slot machine game lords.) But the big prize only comes from the big moneymaker himself, Mr. Big. Apparently even in the casino world freethinking New York women can’t edge out their male counterparts.
Remaining Balance: $35

“The Hangover”
The bro’s version of the “Sex and the City” slots, you’d imagine, but the only person playing “The Hangover” slots was a charming middle-aged woman who complained to me that “there used to be a lot more of these slots, and now are only four—pushed into a corner.” Her husband was “off playing the cards” and she was betting high ($2 a bet is very high!) on the hope that Ed Helms’ bloody tooth might come up more than once. Other icons included Mike Tyson’s tiger, Zach Galifianakis’ bearded mug, and “Mr. Wong”—who she explained was the slot’s “most valuable.” As she flipped virtual Polaroids during a bonus mini game, she searched for this Mr. Wong—I realized that this is just what the characters did in the film, except his in the film they called him Mr. Chow, because that is his name. Continuity! (Sort of.)
Remaining Balance: $20.23

“Big Buck Hunter”
“Big Buck Hunter” appeared to be traditional slot at heart, but a plastic shotgun plugged into the machine promised that you might get to shoot at some virtual deer. To my dismay, players have to rack up some pricey bonuses before even getting CLOSE to loading that weapon. There was no way I was gambling enough to justify playing an arcade game that normally costs anywhere from $2 to $5 in a bar. Only high rollers would get a chance to let off some rounds, while I watched sadly from the sidelines.
Remaining Balance: $10

“Lord Of The Rings”
My gambling companion (a free vodka and pineapple juice) and I thought we might like the promise of Mordor money, if only because this machine included a cool map where you could “unlock” bonuses as you virtually travel through the fantastical land. I was down to just $10 of self-imposed play money, and I doubted these Hobbits would provide any added luck. While those of a nerdier persuasion might be think Tolkien knowledge might help here, let me assure you that there is no added strategy value to this one. Stick to Warcraft.
Remaining Balance: $0.66

“CLUE”
Don’t even get me started on this one. There’s nothing more torturous than a slot machine that promises a beloved game (I’m looking at you, “Wheel of Fortune”) and turns out to be…not that. Bootleg actors playing the suspects carried deadly candlesticks across giant screens, and each machine allowed another gambler to “enter” the game as the character of their choice. Soon, I wanted to hang MYSELF, with the ROPE, at the CASINO.
Ending Balance: $0.03

Lesson learned: Maybe next time I should stick with video poker at the bar. Free drinks, minimal movement.

Lindsey Weber is a writer (duh) living in Brooklyn (duh). 

Toni Braxton ft. Babyface at MGM Grand Theater at Foxwoods
What I Paid: $43.50
What I Should Have Paid: $50

I’d pay more for a concert at Foxwoods? Yes. Why? Well, here’s the deal: Not only did this adventure “force” me to take a “sick” day (whoops), but I also got to take a road trip to lovely Mashantucket, Conn. And while Braxton’s signature low notes somewhat disappointed, 53-year-old Babyface shocked the audience with a slew of nostalgic hits and the moves of a much younger pop star.

Lil’ Kim at Paradise Theater
What I Paid: $60
What I Should Have Paid: $20

On this list of mostly-irrelevant performers I have chosen to see live, Lil’ Kim (“And Friends”) was the least relevant and the most expensive. Harlem’s Paradise Theater is a beautifully preserved venue, florid with with 16th century Italian baroque designs, and certain worth a visit. Lil’ Kim is not as well-preserved, and this whole ordeal was wholly too expensive. 

Azealia Banks at Bowery Ballroom
What I Paid: $30.45
What I Should Have Paid: $25

Azealia Banks’ “Mermaid Ball” had an impressive line-up, quantity-wise, if anything. Four acts went on before the Queen Mermaid herself., who took the stage at 1:30 a.m. ON A SUNDAY. I was exhausted by then, but had fun and there was free cotton candy. But I hate ticket fees, so let’s just say $25 would’ve been enough.

Mystikal at SOB’s
What I Paid: $18
What I Should Have Paid: $18

Mystikal’s last NYC show before he hit jail for 81 days (for violating parole) was worth every cent. I imagine all shows with a sense of urgency are like that usually. Also ones where you’re not quite sure your nostalgia for the artist will live up to the artist’s current state. Mystikal exceeded all expectations. #81days

Lana Del Rey at Irving Plaza
What I Paid: $35
What I Should Have Paid: $35

Whoever is responsible for pricing these types of things, good job. The price of Lana Del Rey’s show at Irving Plaza was spot on. $35 was just enough to sell out the place, keeping the diehard Lana stans happy and giving Lana the intimate experience she needed to perform spectacularly. You heard me; I am that stan.

Kitty Pryde at The Knitting Factory
What I Paid: $16.30
What I Should Have Paid: $8

Tumblr-wave rapper (yep) Kitty Pryde’s debut NYC show was certainly worth the L train ride to Williamsburg. But actually, I would’ve been happier taking that L even further, out to say, Bushwick, to see Pryde in a more suitable habitat: someone’s backyard. $8 for Kitty & AND some free beer from a keg? I feel like Kitty would’ve appreciated it, too.

Lindsey Weber’s  favorite band is Phish.