My New Career Plan: Reality Show Contestant

While trudging over the Misty Mountains of Craigslist’s job postings, and singing a dwarf-song about the economy, I realized that there’s an entire area of employment that I never even considered before: reality TV casting calls. There were new opportunities on Craigslist every day, and no discernible skill of any kind was required. Oddly, there didn’t seem to be a lot of roles that fit my description (Are you an awkward girl with a liberal arts degree who avoids drama at all costs?!?!, said no casting call ever).

Was the solution to go full Borat and apply as a character? That seemed to be a disappointingly ordinary plan. Everyone knows that reality shows are basically fake, and I would be just one more faker in the crowd with a store-bought tan who “didn’t come here to make friends“. It had to be better. It had to be artistic and tasteful. And so I arrived at the solution: to comment on the slimy contract between the reality television viewers and those who hoodwink them (while simultaneously benefitting from it!). I would make it my business to try to audition for reality shows as myself. The possibilities were endless.

How Do We Repay Our Parents?

I really don’t know what I would be doing right now (selling roses in the street like a Dickensian orphan?) if my parents hadn’t essentially subsidized every choice I’ve made while trying to figure out what to do with my life.