You Should Get That Checked Out: Some Considerations

1. High school. I’ve been getting my period for four years but it’s never been normal, and I’m worried. This despite the fact that irregular periods in high school are actually more normal than regular periods in high school. I must be the outlier. There must be a reason. That reason must be cancer. Bloodwork. Ultrasound. Inconclusive. Everything looks normal, if it lasts a few more years, get another checkup. Oh I will. Cost: No idea. I didn’t think about things like “money” back then, only HEALTH. (Paid by parents.)

2. College. Abdominal pain. Am I stressed? Uh, it’s college? Time of my life? Totally not stressed, except about fact that this dull ache is probably cancer. Student health refers me to gastro specialist, who orders a colonoscopy. Results inconclusive. Pain eventually goes away. Cost: ??? plus my mom took off work and drove to my university town and booked a hotel room for my colonoscopy because she is a wonderful mother and then afterwards she bought me so much stuff from Whole Foods, it all must have been  additional hundreds on top of that why are my parents so great I don’t know. (Paid by parents.)