WWYD: Bring Bottles In Yourself Or Leave Them for the Less Fortunate

The obvious thing to do is to trot down to the store with the bag of empties and exchange them for money, right?

What a Pulitzer Prize Will Buy You in 2014

+ 7251.11 Euro + A new city managerA man’s watch. “‘Buying a nice watch is not about status to me, nor is it about impressing others. I am buying it because it is a beautiful creation,’” sayeth the investment banker. AskMen approves: “Besides the great choice in aesthetic, going to a brand where the timepiece is an absolute investment is the best thing Paul could have done with this amount of money.” I might not be taking further financial advice from AskMen.

+ An un-retouched photo of Lena DunhamA college degree in Texas. More info here. Sorry I ragged on you earlier, Houston! + A tiny, tiny homeThe beginnings of a fortuneThe ability to coax Jonathan Adler from bedThe ability to pay off your fine for posting “revenge porn” + Um, a wife?

Yes, I am offering a $10,000 reward to anyone that introduces me to the woman that I propose to. She does NOT need to say yes for you to get the reward. No, if you yourself call and we marry, you don’t get $10,000 but you do get me. In that case, I’ll donate it to a charity that promotes parenthood as being the most important job in the world.

Or you could, you know, write The Goldfinch. And then buy a watch.