I'm in Croatia, and it's four in the morning. I have nowhere to sleep. I haven't changed my clothes in five days, which is fine because I don't actually have any other clothes to change into. This is all part of the money saving plan. Don't book places to stay—just meet people. Don't buy clothes—just smell bad.
I have luck with just one thing in life, but it’s a big thing: planes. As in, I’m always, somehow, against all odds, managing to get on them. Let me explain. My Mom is a flight attendant and one of the perks of the gig is that her family members can fly for free, so long as they fly in space available seats — those never purchased or that belong to people who, for one reason or another, never show up. Since most flights are oversold versus ever having empty seats, I’m usually in the morally compromising position of betting on other people’s bad luck; hoping, but trying not to hope, that somebody will miss their connection or get stuck in security, so I can take their spot.