More Face-palm News About the Banks

"The banks screwed up the title transfers. A lot. They sold bonds backed by houses they didn't own. When it came time to foreclose on those homes, they realized that they didn't actually own them, and so they committed felony after felony, forging the necessary documentation. They stole houses, by the neighborhood-load, and got away with it. The $1B settlement sounded like a big deal, back when the evidence was sealed. Now that Szymoniak's gotten it into the public eye, it's clear that $1B was a tiny slap on the wrist: the banks stole trillions of dollars' worth of houses from you and people like you, paid less than one percent in fines, and got to keep the homes."

Banks Still Doing Bad Things

In case you missed it: The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission, our country's top energy regulator, accused JPMorgan of Chase of manipulating power markets in California and the Midwest, gaming the market to get consumers to pay more for electricity. JPMorgan is expected to pay a fine of at least $400 million.

The Bank and the Typo that Ruined a Man’s Life

The most tragic part of this story is mentioned in the very first sentence.

The Daily Show on Wall Street Accountability

Last night, The Daily Show's John Oliver took on one of my favorite subjects: How the big banks have a tendency to break the law and suffer very little consequences for doing so.

Risky Business Back

According to The Wall Street Journal, investors are looking for a way to juice their returns so bankers in London from J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. and Morgan Stanley are putting together synthetic collateralized debt obligations—you know, those things that helped crashed our economy a few years ago. For a refresher, see this terrific comic by ProPublica.

‘How many billions of dollars do you have to launder for drug lords before somebody says, we’re shutting you down?’

Senator Elizabeth Warren does it again: “If you’re caught with an ounce of cocaine, the chances are good you’re going to go to jail. If it happens repeatedly, you may go to jail for the rest of your life. But apparently, if you launder nearly a billion dollars for drug cartels and violate our international sanctions, your company pays a fine and you go home and sleep in your own bed at night. Every single individual associated with this. And I think that’s fundamentally wrong.”

Merrill Lynch Gave Female Trainees a Book Called ‘Seducing the Boys Club’

Kat Stoeffel has excerpts from Seducing the Boys Club, and it's just as gross as you already imagine it to be.

Alternative Bank of America Email Alerts

Bank of America Alert.

Q: “When Did You Last Take a Wall Street Bank to Trial?” (A: “…”)

Yesterday Senator Elizabeth Warren sat on her first Banking Committee Hearing. Awesome. At least this seven minutes was, minus the part when anyone talks but her. She asked a bunch of regulators when the last time they took Wall Street banks to trial. No one answered properly. (“We have not had to do it as a practical matter to achieve our supervisory goals.”). Warren asked a few more people a few other ways, still got no answer (“I can look that up”) and then followed up with this:

“There are district attorneys and U.S. attorneys who are out there everyday squeezing ordinary citizens on sometimes very thin grounds and taking them to trial in order to make an example, as they put it. I’m really concerned that too big to fail has become too big for trial. That just seems wrong to me.”

Killed it. Killllleeeedddddd it. (Killed it.)