It seems obviously inappropriate to gang up on a coworker and stage a finance intervention about personal purchases, but what if the person were a close friend or family member? Have you ever told someone close to you that they were making bad financial decisions? Would you ever?
A few nights ago, Ben arrived home from work carrying several bags, none of them the one containing his newly bought shirt from J. Crew ($66, on sale).
Taking short meaningless walks between the kitchen and the bedroom became his favorite hobby.
Both my parents were in the ICU at Archbold Medical Center in Thomasville, my father with a broken neck and my mother with a fractured lower back. A truck had smashed into their SUV as they drove home from their Florida vacation.
We’ve been long distance for the past six months and have three months to go. My girlfriend studies German at a university, and as a part of her coursework she had to embark on her year abroad last September. The experience has been, besides predictably shitty, interesting. Over the past few years, I’ve somehow seen a lot of friends in long distance relationships—some of whom have managed it with frightening efficiency, others who have had giant burning messes. All things considered, my girlfriend and I have done pretty well.
My coworkers have provided for me in ways that are less quantifiable than money, career, or real estate: it’s been in venting sessions over drinks, showing up to my events, movie nights, hugs, holidays spent together, and general support.
By making shopping trips together, I learned to make a list and stick to it, and he learned that it’s not against the law to occasionally splurge on an unexpected set of headphones or a Duck Dynasty loofah.
Any gold digger willing to settle for me is lazy or silly or both. This is New York! There are way richer ladies with way higher earning potential who probably also know how to dance.
As the twentieth century draws to a close, I find myself the father of three boys under five.
The youngest is born under circumstances that seem positively routine compared with our first outing. When I return to hospital six hours after the birth, my wife is dressed and ready to go, the baby packed up like hand luggage.
The big career costs, like one partner quitting a job to move to a place where the other partner has a job, are obvious. But combining your life with another person’s, at its core, has a time cost.
Talking to the Person is almost always better than Talking about the Person, especially when the Person’s behavior is the problem.