How I Got $1,000 Back From My Pot-Dealing Ex

I shouldn’t have continued dating Jason once I found out he sold weed. I probably should have just called it quits when he angrily threw a small McDonald’s French fry at me because I didn’t read his mind and buy a burger. And, I definitely shouldn’t have loaned him $1,000 over the course of the few months we dated.

When One Person Earns More Than the Other in a Relationship

Things are not even in most respects, and I get that.

My Cruise Ship Love Affair

Darlene and I met while working in the entertainment department of a large cruise ship sailing the Western Caribbean Sea. Darlene danced in the not-quite-Vegas-style stage productions, and I hammed it up on the mic as a host of not-quite-high-concept spectacles such as the Men's International Hairy Chest Competition and Late Night Adult Dodgeball.

Economic Theory of Dating Websites

For New York Times Magazine, Shaila Dewan looks at whether it's worth it to pay for dating websites like eHarmony that charge a monthly fee. Your $60/month doesn't mean there is a human middle man actually vetting potential dates (algorithms don't count), but paid sites do act as their own filter:

When There Are Different Points of Views About Money in a Relationship

Scenario: You have an extra $5,000 in your bank account. You're up-to-date on all your bills, and you're on track for savings goals, so you get to choose where to put that $5,000. You'd like to pay off the $5,000 remaining balance on a loan and get it over with. Your spouse wants to use $2,000 of it to get something for the house. Who's right?

Soulmates: Ruining the Economy As Per Usual

It’s a classic story. Boy meets girl in college. Girl dislikes boy, but then asks to be friends five years later. Boy says no, but changes his mind mind after they both go through bad breakups. Girl and boy start falling for each other. Boy freaks out after they finally act on their sexual tension. Girl doesn’t want to see boy anymore. But then boy confesses his love, and they live happily ever after—with two nice incomes.

Marriage has changed, because women’s opportunities have changed. Women graduate more, they work more, and they earn more than they used to. These are all good things. But marriage has also changed, because people want new things from it. Men don’t want a homemaker, and women don’t want a provider. Men and women both want a partner, someone who can help with their emotional and financial needs. So they wait until they’ve settled into their careers to tie the knot, and they try to find someone who’s doing the same. This is also a good thing.

But the consequence of all these good things is more inequality.

For the Atlantic, Matthew O’Brien discusses a new paper from the National Bureau of Economic Research that shows “assortative mating” — partnering with people who are like you — is on the rise and has contributed to a 25% increase in income inequality. In the end, it is the fault of women, who keep going to college and wanting to marry for things they learned watching too many romantic comedies (love, etc.).

The Do-it-all Spouse

Koa Beck at The Atlantic writes about spouses who support their partner’s career, or the “do-it-all spouse,” who was embodied by Vera Nabokov, the wife of Russian author Vladimir Nabokov:

Vera not only performed all the duties expected of a wife of her era—that is, being a free live-in cook, babysitter, laundress, and maid (albeit, she considered herself a “terrible housewife”)—but also acted as her husband’s round-the-clock editor, assistant, and secretary. In addition to teaching his classes on occasion (in which Nabokov openly referred to her as “my assistant”), Vera also famously saved Lolita, the work that would define her husband’s career, several times from incineration, according to Stacey Schiff ‘s Pulitzer Prize-winning 2000 biography, Vera (Mrs. Vladimir Nabokov). With Vera by his side, Nabokov published 18 novels between 1926 and 1974 (both in Russian and English).

And it hasn’t been just wives supporting their husbands careers (which I suspect to be the case in a heteronormative society)—Virginia Woolf and Edna St. Vincent Millay had husbands who “assumed a Vera-esque role”:

The Cost of Love

I asked some Billfold pals if they had ever spent too much money on love. They had.

On ‘Dating Up’

The only other person I dated with some link to money came via my ex-boyfriend. His father owned a TV station in Utah and his mother clearly enjoyed the privilege—she dripped with jewelry and talked non-stop about their money.