TO: LOGAN FROM: MEGAN SUBJECT: I FUCKED UP
Someone must know and it might as well be you. I was on an airplane and signed up for Boingo Wireless and I chose the recurring monthly plan because it was initially cheaper than a one time use plan (thrifty). But then I forgot to cancel it and it charged me $5 for two months and then $10 for one month before I noticed, and also, on that last charge my bank account balance was overdrawn so I got a $30 overdraft fee. I hate myself. —Megan
DO Say you’re fasting, because of god
Say you ate breakfast and you plan to eat lunch, so brunch just doesn’t make sense for your lifestyle
Say you never consume food with people you hate
Start downing those little splenda packets until everyone gets too weirded out to say anything to you
Explain that you are actually drinking a complete Irish breakfast, complete with a side order of hash browns, liquified and put in a coffee mug at your request
Declare your table a sovereign nation and claim diplomatic immunity from brunch as foreign emissary brokering a peace treaty with this mug of coffee
Say you have a stomach bug
DON’T Say you can’t afford more—what are you a monster
Hi, Money-Challenged Person. I am starving soon-to-be college student who really wants day-to-day financial independence. My parents are footing the bill as far as college goes, but I’d love to be able to do us all a favor and try to be smart with my money startiiiiiing NOW. HELP.
1. The short answer to this question is, do everything I did, except the exact opposite of that.