Contract PSA For Comedians (And Other People, Too)

Nato Green is "either a comedian who moonlights as a union organizer or a union organizer who moonlights as a comedian," he can't really tell anymore. Regardless, he knows a thing or two about contracts, and knows how common it is to be screwed over by not reading or understanding something before you sign it. Care of the Comic's Comic, Green shares some helpful tips and real talk about contracts.

Order the Largest Pizza You Can

From Quoctrung Bui and Planet Money comes this fun chart explaining why ordering the larger pizza is worth it.

A Shore Thing for Valentine’s Day

How does one meet such a momentous occasion at such an early stage of romance?

Some Money Saving Advice from Dr. Ruth for Feb. 14

Noted!

Dealing With Telemarketers (Using Advice From a Telemarketer)

From Lifehacker, a servicey post about how to deal with telemarketers:

For $330 You Can Own a Toothbrush That Yells At You

Inviting the real-time disapproving remarks of my dentist into my home and into my daily routine sounds like my worst nightmare, and certainly not something I would pay $330 for, but if you are concerned about preventing all of the horrible things are teeth and bodies are going to die from it might be something worth looking into.

Maybe Bob Costa’s Excuse For Missing Work Can Be Our Excuse for Missing Work

We <3 you, Bob.

My SAD Lamp Has Made Me Marginally Less Sad: An Update

Last week I posted about giving in and buying a $99 SAD lamp despite my hesitations and dubiousness with regard to their efficacy. It's not that I had done any real research or talked to a doctor or therapist about the issue -- which you know, recommended! And it's not that I didn't think it totally worked for some people or that mental health issues are anything to really joke about.

Millennials Find Confidence in Embracing the Void

Peter Coy at Businessweek wonders why we're so optimistic when we have nothing to be optimistic about. Good question. Is it, "the timeless confidence of youth"? Our "digital lives" (heh)?

Some of Our Problems With Managing Money

At the Motley Fool, Morgan Housel looks at 77 different reasons people are bad at managing money:

Odd Job of the Day: Professional Closed Captioner

If you’ve ever watched television in the airport and wondered what it would be like to type all that dialogue plus the occasional [MUSIC PLAYS] or [SUSTAINED LAUGHTER] into the closed captioning service, today is your lucky day. Matt Seidel does freelance work for a captioning and transcription company and has written about it for The Morning News.

He does everything from conference calls to MOOCs to documentaries, but movies are his favorite:

More than other types of transcription work, movie captioning allows me to cultivate my own voice. I feel most creatively fulfilled filling in nonverbal sound effects. Any hack can nail an off-screen [DOORBELL], but it takes an artist to convey the full range of the human emotional experience. My signature is the multiple descriptor. I like [GASPS AND BLUBBERS] over colorless [SOBS], [GURGLING CATERWAULING] over tepid [WAILS], and [CACKLING GIBBERISH] over jejune [UNINTELLIGIBLE], a tag for which we have a shortcut key. I feel these florid touches set me apart from the horde of doorbell-catalogers I call colleagues.

And then there is that most enticing creative challenge, the love scene. Call me old-fashioned, but I’m a [MOANS] guy. However, depending on the mood and the character, I can be persuaded to throw in a [GRUNTS] or a [GROANS] in exigent circumstances. And I confess that, just once, I added a gratuitous [ULLULATES]. (In my defense, I had just done several episodes of Xena: Warrior Princess.) Generally, however, one should exercise maximum restraint. As such, I usually let the thunderous conclusions of love scenes pass without comment, with the exception of one tussle so histrionic that to deny its participants a [JOINT CLIMAXES] seemed downright petty.

Photo: Dsmous

Please Someone Buy This $200 E-Book

Via the Paris Review Daily’s roundup of very expensive ebooks, I bring you this gem, titled “The Amazon’s most expensive book (Arabic edition).” Behold the product description:

This book is one of the most expensive available on Amazon in Kindle version. It does not exist on paper version. It caters to the richest people. Those who can buy it without flinching. It is not for the poor, stingy, or for those who count their money.

Therefore, please do not buy this book if you do not have enough money on your bank account. If you are not wealthy but think you can read this book and ask for a refund afterwards, give up immediately, you are not the readership target.

Any unusual thing is expensive! This is the law of supply and demand. Only a privileged few can buy and read this book. The others: go your way. Many free books are available for your long winter evenings. However, if you have a lot of money, and if the price of this book does not disturb you more than that, welcome and good reading.

Of course my first instinct when I saw this was to gchat Mike Dang about it, to which he said: