I Don’t Own a Microwave, AMA

As for me, I am on the right side of history, if by history you mean overly-paid trend forecasters as cited on Quartz.com. My kitchen in my last apartment had a built-in microwave, so I threw my busted $30 one out, and in this apartment there is truly about six inches of counter space so I don't know where I'd put one if we had it. *shuffles to stand in front of the KitchenAid mixer, crosses arms*

Americans Pouring Ranch All Over Everything

The Salt reports that NPD Group, a consumer market information company, has found that ranch dressing has becoming the number one dressing "shipped to the country's cafeterias, restaurants and institutions."

Next on the Grill: Synthetic Meat

Google founder Sergey Brin paid $325,000 for a two-year project to test out the idea of whether or not we can grow meat in a laboratory. The answer so far is: Yes, we can, but it's crazy expensive.

French Restaurant Institutes Fine For Wasted Food

Here's a fun one, via the Morning News: The proprietor of the French restaurant in Switzerland called Patrizietta was sick of seeing patrons load up on the buffet and waste a bunch of food, so he took matters into his own hands. At La Patrizietta, membership to the Clean Plate Club is free, but you face a fine of five francs if you don't join:

The Ritual of the Last Meal

The latest issue of Lapham's Quarterly is out, and the theme is Death. Hooray! You can read Brent Cunningham's wildly fascinating essay about the last meals of the soon to be executed online, and I would highly recommend it, if you are into that sort of thing. Or aren't into that sort of thing at ALL but still can't help but be fascinated by the fact that Timothy McVeigh's last meal was two pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Chipotle Snobs

Really, your palate is so refined that you can tell the difference between lettuces even when they’re smothered in sour cream?

What’s with the line? You don’t have eight minutes?

Ah, O.K., you trust no man who orders his lunch by fax.

And you went to U.C.L.A. and spent your junior year in Oaxaca, and once you’ve tasted the real thing, you can’t just eat at Chipotle.

Besides, burritos aren’t even really Mexican, and don’t get you started on burrito bowls.

Two bucks extra for guacamole?

Here is a delightful Shouts and Murmurs piece about Chipotle, if you’re into that (and why wouldn’t you be, unless you went to U.C.L.A. and spent your junior year in Oaxaca).

Photo: Slam Szapucki

On Class Rage And Green Juice

I love Jami Attenburg's tumblr, and her post about sharing in some class rage with the woman making her juice today is <3:

Our Nuggets Under the Microscope

A professor of of medicine and pediatrics at the University of Mississippi Medical Center examined random chicken nuggets from two unnamed restaurants and discovered that chicken nuggets actually don't have very much lean, white meat. Aren't chicken nuggets on the level of hot dogs by now? Hot dogs are also often a mish-mash of different parts but they're popular among kids as well. And they're popular among kids, as we learned from Jamie Oliver, even when kids know what the nuggets are made of. We live in a world of $1 billion Doritos Los Tacos sold. Also chains like KFC know that people can be turned off by this mish-mash so they are quick to advertise that their nuggets are entirely made of breast meat. And they're delicious.

The Home-Cooked Challenge

This week, KJ Dell'Antonia and her family are trying to do "The Home-Cooked Challenge" and have gotten rid of all the processed food in their house.