Save Your Money, Stick to Wine

Fancy-shmancy restaurants serve fancy-shmancy cocktails full of ingredients you’ve never heard of, so that you will pay too much to get drunk on something gross and then, because you’re drunk, buy more and more expensive food and wine than you planned to and then, the next morning, wake up gout-y, dehydrated, and poor, wondering where it all went wrong. Don’t worry, the Times is on it:

a restaurant is way more likely to hand you a not-good drink than a bar that prides itself on cocktail conjuring. … restaurants have come to depend on these [cocktail] lists for extra revenue, which comes in two forms: the margin on the cocktails, and the extra cash that first drink of the evening may pry loose from a customer’s money clip.

“It’s an unspoken truth in the business,” said Eben Freeman, who used to superintend the bars operated by Mr. White’s Altamarea Group and recently moved to a similar job with AvroKo. “You’re hoping to get a cocktail sale in before they settle down with the wine list. The dark side is that they will drink the cocktail faster” than a glass of wine, he continued. “And it will affect their decision-making, and might cause them to get the steak for two. Or the more expensive bottle of wine.”

The only way to escape this endless, torturous loop is to stare down your server and decline the cocktail menu altogether. Stand strong, America! Only you can prevent Atomic Fireballs.

Ever Wish You Could Buy An Accelerated Wine-Making Device For The Home?

Happy Friday, everyone! Here is a video of some guys in matching zip-up sweaters telling us they've found a way to turn water into wine. Okay, that 'way' involves 'adding the ingredients necessary to make wine' but still: JESUS STUFF.

Maybe the One Good Thing About SantaCon

Every year since 1997, thousands of men and women dressed up as Santa, Elves, Reindeer and other Christmas-related things descend on the city to do a day-long brawl crawl. It's sort of like St. Patrick's Day in December. Drunk Santas, they will be everywhere tomorrow.

Are Russians Alcoholics to Support the State? (They Were at One Point)

Not anymore! But at one time, maybe! Stan Fedun explains why alcoholism is so rampant in Russia (1 in 5 Russian men die from alcohol related illnesses): “Stalin used vodka sales to help pay for the socialist industrialization of the Soviet Union. By the 1970s, receipts from alcohol again constituted a third of government revenues.”

Savvy Drinking: Is the Smart Buy the Best Value?

This Business Insider video (via Slate) points out that since cheap liquor is marked up more than pricier liquor at bars, it makes more sense to buy the expensive stuff. You’re spending more money but you’re getting a better value for your dollar.

It is true that knowing how much a draft is marked up (456%!?!) could really affect your ability to enjoy that glass of swill. (Sorry, beer.) But will you appreciate an expensive bottle of wine more because you feel like a savvy spender as well as a fancy-pants connoisseur? It probably depends on whether you enjoy expensive wine more than the regular stuff to begin with, and can afford it.

Beer is not only cheaper than a glass of wine, usually, it’s also less of a rip-off. Now if only it tasted better.

Bottom-shelf mixed drinks are as much of a rip off as draft beers. Good to know.

FAA Says No to Drones Delivering Beer

Drone deliveries are likely to be a part of our future, and with Wisconsin brewery Lakemaid already delivering beer to customers, the future is now! Except it shouldn't be, at least according to the FAA. According to TechCrunch.

We Have Enough Wine! Drink Up

All this week, I've been reading about how we're on a brink of a global wine shortage, which was based on a report by Morgan Stanley Research and quickly made headlines ("Drink It While Your Can!" some headlines warned).

How Your Cocktails Get Their Names

I will not order a cocktail if it has a dumb name. I will pick anything other than the cocktail with a dumb name. If it can't be avoided, I will point to it. "This one," I'll say. Or "the gin one." Won't say the dumb name.

Make-Your-Own-Cocktail Bars at Weddings Now a Thing

When it comes to weddings, it can seem like there is nothing new under the sun. Mashed potato bar where you fill up martini glasses with cheddar, chives, and bacon bits? Ethiopian food buffet complemented by buckets of injera on each table, thoroughly confusing the elderly Jewish guests? Karaoke? A Simpsons theme? Done and done (and I mean done). If you can't provide your guests with an original experience, though, at least you can let them have fun -- like by mixing their own drinks!

In Search of the $1 Draft Beer

Kyle Swenson went on a quest to find $1 draft beers where he lives in South Florida (I have also gone on a similar quest before), and discovered that the rise of brewing costs may make the $1 draft beer bar special a relic of the past (though, impossibly, he does find it).

Wine, the People’s Drink

Traditionally beer has been the everyman drink, but wine is catching up because young people will literally drink wine anywhere anytime. E. & J. Gallo, who own Barefoot (the number 1 wine in the U.S. lol), want to be part of wine’s takeover of the beverage market by making wine the drink you crave even when you’re parched with a line of wines meant to be served over ice. HAHAHA that already exists it’s called chardonnay.