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The Last Night

It was the last night of business for the restaurant, it was closing after a few years. A waitress had told a pair of lunch patrons the week before that the building needed a lot of expensive repairs, that the owners weren’t able to undertake them. A sign outside said, Thank you for dining with us, We will miss you.

Did the host have a new job yet? He did not. He’d been trying, but Thanksgiving was coming up, not the best time to be job seeking … Could he collect unemployment? He could not–he’d been working off the books, “mostly.” But the owners had told them a month in advance, the best you could get from a restaurant, he said. He’d shown up to locked doors before, and that’s how he found out he no longer had a job.

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Skipping Your High School Reunion

I skipped my high school reunion to go to a family reunion. Adam Wilson, author of the novel Flatscreen, skipped his to go to a psychic healer. Adam Wilson wins.

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You Can And You Will

Action shot. Mr Biscuit, mid-swat. What is he swatting at? Is it a thought bubble, his own, saying, “You can’t, you can’t” …. ? Or perhaps it’s coming from a foe, a mouse maybe, or a bit of string. “You can’t, you can’t.” Swipe that naysaying down, Mr. B! Get it out of here! There is no self hatred or hatred of others in these parts! No low self-esteem! You are Mr. Biscuit! You exist! You can and you will.

photo by william foster

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Spirit Airlines: So Bad It’s Good Again

Spirit Airlines is famously terrible — they serve no in-flight snacks or beverages, seats don’t recline, and it costs $50 to CARRY ON a bag — but according to Derek Thompson at the Atlantic, their business is still doing really, really well. Between 2008 and 2012, Spirit Air “saw fuel costs rise by nearly 60 percent, increased salaries by about half, flew more miles at higher costs, and, despite all that, still managed to reduce its average ticket price by 20 percent,” earning 40% more per airplane than their competitors.

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What Kind of Candy Are We Getting for Halloween This Year?

To the Amazon best sellers list, stat!

Okay what do we have here, what can we learn. Alright, first insight: People who purchase their Halloween candy from Amazon know exactly what is up with Halloween candy. Appeal to those candy-gobbling masses, appeal to me. Miniature, on-brand candy bars. Cannot go wrong. You’re doing exactly right. You’re doing great.

Insight: Elaborate Breaking Bad costumes will be prevalent.

And why isn’t there an image for Haribo gummy bears. It’s like the most famous candy, internationally? Does that sound right? A fact which can be proven, I’d argue, because the product is in the bestsellers list Without a Picture. Branding. Good brand, Haribo.

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Sex in Japan: Pretty Much No Longer Worth It

A shocking number of young people in Japan aren’t having sex, and have no desire to get married:

“Marriage has become a minefield of unattractive choices. Japanese men have become less career-driven, and less solvent, as lifetime job security has waned. Japanese women have become more independent and ambitious. Yet conservative attitudes in the home and workplace persist. Japan’s punishing corporate world makes it almost impossible for women to combine a career and family, while children are unaffordable unless both parents work. Cohabiting or unmarried parenthood is still unusual, dogged by bureaucratic disapproval.”

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Nothing Was the Same After I Did 1 Thing

Thursday is a great day to do that 1 thing you don’t want to do but also don’t want to continue thinking about doing. Friday is an acceptable day also. 

My 1 thing for today is to clean my room and do some laundry (“do some laundry” = drop some laundry off for someone else to do) (Newwww Yoorrrrrrrrrkkkkk). Buy some toilet paper. Drink a lot of water since I’m getting sick. What else. Eat some vegetables. Take a shower, that’s a good one. Floss. You know, just generally take this day to do things that need to be done, in life.

This week also marks the countdown into absolutely-have-to-do-my-taxes-now-there-are-no-other-extensions territory. My brain sure will have fun thinking constantly about them yet doing nothing for the next two weeks! The deadline is October 15th. My goal is to have them done by the 14th. (bb steps.)

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I Get 1 Kick Out of 1 Thing

Do 1 Thing.

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What to Pay a Domestic Worker in Johannesburg

Nigel Branken lives in Johannesburg in South Africa and employs a domestic worker.

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Places I’ve Lived: Australia + Germany

Where have you lived, Cat Burston?

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What You Get Paid When You Get Kicked Out of Your House Because Some Company Effed Up

Bayou Corne, La. residents have been shut out from their homes since a Texas Brine mining sink hole disaster released toxic gas in August 2012! Their lives suck because of it! Obviously! And the company is still mining ta-da! America!

(“The settlements come with no admission of wrongdoing—to the contrary, the company insists the town is perfectly safe, and that residents (some of whom have defied the evacuation order) are taking advantage of Texas Brine’s generosity by accepting weekly $875 stipends for living expenses while never leaving their homes. Only 59 homeowners have taken deals so far; others have signed onto a class action lawsuit against the company that’s set to go to trial next year.”)

Did you maybe momentarily think, $875, “that’s a lot”? Because I kind of did, and then I was like wait, no, this is VERY WRONG. That company has TONS OF MONEY and they RUINED LIVES. $875/week is not enough for that.

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This Sun, That Moon

Jane Catherine Lotter wrote her own obituary. It’s beautiful. What a cool lady. (“I was given the gift of life, and now I have to give it back. This is hard. But I was a lucky woman, who led a lucky existence, and for this I am grateful. I first got sick in January 2010. When the cancer recurred last year and was terminal, I decided to be joyful about having had a full life, rather than sad about having to die. Amazingly, this outlook worked for me. (Well, you know, most of the time.) Meditation and the study of Buddhist philosophy also helped me accept what I could not change. At any rate, I am at peace. And on that upbeat note, I take my mortal leave of this rollicking, revolving world-this sun, that moon, that walk around Green Lake, that stroll through the Pike Place Market, the memory of a child’s hand in mine.”)

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