What becomes immediately obvious, when you start apartment hunting, is that there are no apartments.
Startup Castle is offering single rooms at $1,750/mo and shared rooms at $1,000/mo. But the ideal applicant can’t watch more than 4 hours of TV a week, can’t have more than one tattoo, and can’t have attended more than one protest in their lifetime.
[UPDATE: My landlord just told me she is going to pay for my hotel costs. Yay for good landlords!]
One of the best parts of working from home is that you notice things like, say, water pouring through a crack in your bathroom wall, right away.
Then you get to figure out what to do about it.
The pedants among us will say “it wasn’t actually water pouring out of a crack in your wall, it was water pouring out of a crack in the particleboard back to your vanity,” but I argue that if it is the only thing separating you from brick, it counts as a wall.
The first thing you do is carefully take your toothpaste and toothbrush and everything else out of your vanity, wipe it off with a Lysol disinfecting wipe, and put it far away from the water.
Then you call the landlord.
The landlord checks it out and then brings in a plumber, and you explain to them both that every time you hear a toilet flush or a sink run upstairs, water comes pouring out of this crack in the wall behind your vanity.
Both of them assure you that you can sit in your apartment and continue working while the plumber solves the problem, but you go to a coffee shop instead. ($2.50.)
We found out where the closest laundromat was because after waiting half an hour, my roommate had to pee so badly that we went in a frantic search of the closest public restroom.
I’m sure you all will tell me why 190th Street is preferable to 181st Street, or why rents jump from $1,290 at 125th Street to $1,506 at 116th Street.
Each potential applicant has an approximate 0.06 percent chance of getting one of these affordable apartments.
There was an infestation of squirrels in the home. Teeth marks still scarred the built-ins.
This week, I saw a sign listing apartments for rent and the unit prices, and I realized that I could actually afford to live there.