Relationships

Moving for a Relationship and Lessons From My Immigrant Parents

In August 2011 I’d just finished a year of wobbly misery in beautiful South Korea—teaching English—and by the end of it I had several thousand dollars and nothing else. I’d gone to Korea to travel and instead found myself in a swirling pool of depression, unable to connect with most of the excited ex-pats I spoke to, and unwilling to do the work to bridge the gap between myself and Koreans. This slow melt of melancholy meant that I rarely went out of my way to spend money on things, which allowed me to save more money than I knew what to do with. By the end I needed a break, so I took those thousands and went away to bum around in Southeast Asia.

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How Living at Home at 31 Taught Me Nothing and Everything About Saving

The first time I moved back home with my folks, I was a 26-year-old with only two suitcases, a deferred NYU student loan, and bank account that was overdrafted by $800 (thanks to a sketchy Vancouver landlord who peaced out with my rent deposit) to my name.

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The Inheritance My Father Left Me With And What I Did With It

My father passed away when I was 24, the youngest of six siblings. We were close; we loved talking about hard work and money, whether we were out eating at Denny’s, or at home watching football or the Daily Show. He died before he got to see me go to grad school, start a real professional career, meet the love of my life, get married, get a mortgage, have kids, have grandkids, start my 401(k), live a life. My dad was 54 years older than me, but his passing was sudden. When I was younger, I didn’t anticipate that he wouldn’t be able to walk me down the aisle, and now I have no idea how I’m ever going to afford a wedding in the future. His parents (my grandparents) lived to be 93. I thought my dad was in otherwise good health until he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer at the age of 78.

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Living In Fear Of My Bank Account

I have a tendency to stick my head in the sand and pretend that my bank account isn’t even there.

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You Can Sue Your Parents To Pay Your College Tuition!

I too would put up a fight if someone told me I had to fork over nearly a thousand bucks. Unless it was, you know, for my child.

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The Cost of Figuring Out a Guy Isn’t Right

I know that traditional wisdom dictates I’ll have to kiss a lot of frogs before I find the right person. Do I have the patience for this? Yes. Does my wallet? I’m not sure.

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Shopping With and For My Dying Mother

If you were an anthropologist and you observed my mother’s last months, you would inevitably conclude that spending sprees are essential to the dying process. About six hours after she died, my father and I stood together at the kitchen sink, unwrapping individual pieces of silverware with shiny mocha-colored resin handles and dropping them into a large bowl of soapy water. It was a job because there were two tiny rubber bands securing the wrapping to each piece. There was similar set with ivory-colored handles in the pantry, customarily used on holidays and other special occasions.

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Adjusting Your Life to Your Partner’s Career

The big career costs, like one partner quitting a job to move to a place where the other partner has a job, are obvious. But combining your life with another person’s, at its core, has a time cost.

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If You Buy Your Wife a Mansion

Anyway, if you are a man married to a woman, a woman who I guess conveniently has no opinions and desires to give no input on where she spends her life, here is a gift guide for you, courtesy of the Wall Street Journal.

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What Marriage (And Remarriage) Has To Do With Money

re-marriage for women is correlated with a number of positives, whereas uggghhhhh staying divorced for a woman can spell d i s a s t e r

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