Relationships

The Invisible Labor of The Fashion Blogger Boyfriend

Kayleen Schaefer at the Cut takes a look behind the DSLR to unveil the secret weapon of successful fashion bloggers everywhere: THE MEN.

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The Cost of Spring Break with School-Age Children, Illustrated and Annotated

Of all the coming sacrifices that you fail to consider when you have kids (so many!), the most insidious is how all the vacation time you accumulate will be divided in equal measure between staying home with them when they are sick and taking them places when they are on school vacation. This is not to say that raising kids isn’t wonderful and enriching and etc. etc., but for much of their lives, they are whiny travelers who insist on doing boring stuff. Important pleasures that they generally fail to appreciate include ocean sunsets, after-rain forest smell, and weekends walking around Philadelphia and getting drunk. Also, entertaining them costs money.

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The Best Books About Class

Generations and generations of high school students read The Great Gatsby not because it is a love story for the ages — it isn’t — but because it is a well-written but lurid melodrama about the limitations of the American Dream. A poor guy with limited prospects shakes himself off, changes his name, makes his fortune, and then (spoiler alert) gets his comeuppance after his high-class lady love accidentally kills her husband’s working-class mistress. Oops.

The moral is that we should eat the rich because otherwise they win every time.

For Jewniverse, I wrote about Joanna Hershon’s new book A Dual Inheritance, which is less vivid, plot-wise, than Gatsby, but also a fascinating look at money, ambition, and friendship in the 20th century. Billfold contributor Rebecca called it “a more interesting The Interestings,” in reference to Meg Wolitzer’s 2013 novel about similar tensions. Of course YMMV; both novels are very much worth reading.

Writers have been addressing the topic of class since before Karl Marx was a glimmer in his mother’s eye. Some of the classics of world literature trace a young man or woman’s path from poor to rich: Great Expectations, Vanity Fair. Others concern themselves with what happens when someone who has always been comfortable finds the ground shaking beneath her feet, like in Daniel Deronda and oh everything by Edith Wharton. I’ve started to put together a list of the best books on the topic, so help me out! What are your favorites?

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Arranged Marriage: Probably Not the Answer We’re Looking For Here

WNYC’s Arun Venugopal takes to the streets for his Micropolis series and talks to New Yorkers about “the struggle to find that special someone” and whether or not there is an answer to be found in arranged marriage. Per one 28-year-old Brooklynite Venugopal found smoking outside of a bar in the West Village, “Helllll no.”

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The Do-it-all Spouse

Koa Beck at The Atlantic writes about spouses who support their partner’s career, or the “do-it-all spouse,” who was embodied by Vera Nabokov, the wife of Russian author Vladimir Nabokov:

Vera not only performed all the duties expected of a wife of her era—that is, being a free live-in cook, babysitter, laundress, and maid (albeit, she considered herself a “terrible housewife”)—but also acted as her husband’s round-the-clock editor, assistant, and secretary. In addition to teaching his classes on occasion (in which Nabokov openly referred to her as “my assistant”), Vera also famously saved Lolita, the work that would define her husband’s career, several times from incineration, according to Stacey Schiff ‘s Pulitzer Prize-winning 2000 biography, Vera (Mrs. Vladimir Nabokov). With Vera by his side, Nabokov published 18 novels between 1926 and 1974 (both in Russian and English).

And it hasn’t been just wives supporting their husbands careers (which I suspect to be the case in a heteronormative society)—Virginia Woolf and Edna St. Vincent Millay had husbands who “assumed a Vera-esque role”:

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Some Costs Associated With My Roommate’s Boyfriend

I am in a good place right now: I have a job that can pay my bills, my student loans; I have health insurance; I can afford fancy cheeses when I want to play Russian roulette with my cholesterol. I have a kickass apartment with a washer and dryer, an L-shaped couch, and a working thermostat. It also has a roommate, and she is the best roommate I’ve ever had. She’s funny, she cleans, and she has a puppy. There is only one flaw: her boyfriend.

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How Do Couples Use Joint Accounts?

The problem is how to use the joint account. Just bills? Groceries? Do groceries include beer from the liquor store?

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When One Person Earns More Than the Other in a Relationship

Things are not even in most respects, and I get that.

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Dating Using Discounts

Meaghan: Mike! I just read an excellent article on the Date Report that cites you as a couponing expert. Or um, quotes you about your couponing-while-dating philosophy.

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How Do You Split the Cost of a Group Trip?

How do you split the cost of group trips?

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Talking About Money And Splitting the Cost of Child-Rearing After a Divorce

Spring is in the air, and as Alfred, Lord Tennyson famously said, it’s the time when a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. Truly, this is an optimistic moment: buds are bursting through frost, fans of lousy baseball teams feel improvident hope, and in all matters romantic, we cannot help but think of the good things yet to come—the spark of new attraction, the idyllic domesticity of a shared apartment, the stomach-flutteringly massive notion of getting married. So let me bring you down to earth: There’s a good chance you’re going to get divorced, by which time you may have kids, and on top of all the other heartbreaks, you may embark on a lifetime of difficult conversations about money. Let’s talk about this.

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Navigating The Time-Honored Gray Area of “Date Or Business Meeting?”

Maureen O’Connor tackles “The Colleague Zone” for NY Mag’s The Cut. You know, that thing where someone suggests you meet for drinks after work and you don’t quite know why and halfway through you aren’t sure whether it’s a date or a business meeting or something in between. OR SO I HEAR.

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