Parenting

Everything You Need to Know About Diapers, Part 2

You need 10-12 cloth diapers ($180) just to get through a regular Monday — and that assumes you are then going to wash and dry the whole load to get it ready for Tuesday, and you will never do that, that’s insane. So really you need more like 25 ($250) at least, plus the liners, which are still necessary to keep the diapers from turning into a swamp.

---

Everything You Need to Know About Diapers, Part 1

In 2012, Consumer Reports estimated that new parents will spend $2,500+ dealing with the aftereffects of one baby’s digestion. Because everything made by Proctor and Gamble is an environmental scourge, you can instead, if you like, spend $3,500+ on eco-friendly alternatives. (It’s not easy being green.)

---

Working While Pregnant

Sometimes the Gray Lady does a good deed. I mean, she spends a lot of time preening, and baiting us with the travails of the city’s most obnoxious, narcissistic 22-year-old as he searches for a $3700-a-month apartment big enough to decorate like an Orientalist bordello, complete with a huge oil painting of himself. But sometimes she also manages to help an unfairly fired pregnant woman get her job back:

Ms. Valencia, who earned $8.70 an hour as a potato packer for Fierman in the Bronx, was told by her supervisors in August that she could not continue working unless her doctor gave her a full-duty medical clearance. (Ms. Valencia, who had a miscarriage last year, was told by her doctor that she should work only eight hours a day, no overtime.) Lawyers for Ms. Valencia said the company had violated New York City’s Pregnant Workers Fairness Act, which requires employers to make reasonable accommodations for pregnant workers. Her story was the subject of a Working Life column on Monday.

My god, what employers will try to get away with when they think nobody’s looking. Sadder still is that most of the time, nobody is looking. If you’re working while pregnant, know your rights.

 

---

Would You Be More Likely to Freeze Your Eggs If It Were a Work Benefit?

As you may have seen on either Jezebel or NBC News this morning: Facebook and Apple have become the first two companies to offer to pay for their employees’ egg freezing procedures.

To quote NBC News:

The companies offer egg-freezing coverage under slightly different terms: Apple covers costs under its fertility benefit, and Facebook under its surrogacy benefit, both up to $20,000.

It appears at this point that Facebook and Apple only offer this benefit to female employees; they don’t, for example, offer married couples the chance to freeze the eggs of the spouse who does not work for the company. (I’m making this assumption because the news stories I’ve read have only mentioned offering the benefit to women. I’m also hoping “women” encompasses all people with ovaries, but again, they didn’t say.)

It’s an interesting move, first because it acknowledges that delayed childbearing is a true cultural shift, and second because it’s a subtle reminder that one of the reasons women delay childbearing is because they’re working to build their careers at groundbreaking, all-encompassing companies like Facebook and Apple.

Lean in, don’t leave before you leave, and put your eggs on ice.

---

What Expectations Will We Have For The Homeland Generation?

How about: Parents, raise your children in such a way that, if they end up indebted, in their childhood bedrooms, and with not many career prospects on the horizon, they’ll still feel like they’re worth something. Raise them so they’ll still feel like finding something worth doing with their lives.

---

All of My 1 Things and What They Cost

+ Sold two big bags of small toddler clothes: $20 total. This involved inventorying and then trying to list items on the Park Slope Parents Classifieds board, only to realize I no longer had access to Classifieds. I had to figure out who to email about that, email them, wait for a response, and contemplate ditching the whole shebang on the sidewalk and hoping someone worthy would wander by and grab it instead of one of the many neighborhood shahs. Odds: 40 to 1 against.

Finally I confirmed with the right person that I did, indeed, pay my $35 annual fee in June for the right to get emails advertising “homemade natural toothpaste” and to sell stuff that I myself got second-hand or for free.

Then I had to negotiate by email with people who want X but not Y, or who want everything but can’t come til next week, and what brands are the shoes because her baby’s feet are wide; and strike the best balance; and wait some more.

The buyer arrived at last, sweet and eager. My daughter’s only four months old, she told me, so we won’t need this for a while, but I thought I’d snatch it up. Four months! I said. How’s it going? Fine, she said, dreamily. She’s gotten so big, I’m already dreaming about another.

This woman could not exist and yet there she was, pushing a twenty into my hand with a smile.

---

Why Don’t American Women Bike To Work?

Do you bike to work? Back when I regularly went to an office, I walked the two miles every morning. I was also a Xootr Commuter for a while (this means I rode a kick scooter while simultaneously being an adult wearing an Ann Taylor Loft sheath dress), but quickly went back to walking.

---

Our Vanilla-and-Guilt-Flavored Real Estate Fantasies

Fantasies and gratitude for reality aren’t mutually exclusive! Or maybe fantasies distract from gratitude. I don’t know! It’s not greedy! Or is it?

---

Who’s Taking Care of Your Baby?

As I passed by him he shouted something else that I didn’t quite hear. I turned around, said, “What?” “Who’s watching your BABY?!” he repeated, laughing a little.

I spun around to make eye contact with him. “My HUSBAND!” I said and spun back around and crossed the street.

---

Tales From EggBanxx’s Let’s ‘Chill’ Ladies’ Nights

Perhaps, after trying my whole life to get straight A’s and excel and do everything perfectly, I don’t want to feel like there’s a “right” way to do my fertility.

---

DOL Leading the Charge on Paid Leave

At last, at last, the US Department of Labor (and Delivery? ba-dum-ching) has started a push on the subject of paid leave:

The most important family value of all is time together. With the changing nature of our 21st-century workforce, it’s getting harder and harder to balance the demands of the family you love and the job you need. Change has yet to come to Washington, but momentum is growing in the states: So far, California, Rhode Island and New Jersey have passed paid leave laws. It’s time to update workplace policies that are stuck in the past and give more Americans paid family leave – to take care of sick loved ones and newborn children. It’s time for us to #LeadOnLeave.

You have to chuckle at the idea of us “leading on leave” at this point, when we have lagged so far behind for so long. But I understand the hashtag as a framing device: Americans don’t want to do anything unless we can be bravely at the vanguard, waving the sword way out front as others fall in line behind, so, okay, sure, let’s “#LeadOnLeave.” Anything to help us stop pouting on the ground with our arms crossed.

What are these new state laws? Here’s some info about the situation in Rhode Island for example (“an employee can have up to four weeks of paid time off from work without fear of losing their job to care for a seriously ill family member or to bond with a new child through birth, adoption or foster care”). Gee, that sounds idyllic. Maybe we’ll move to Provincetown Providence after all. 

---